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Who's Who of Veronica Mars — E

E-String Strangler

Misnomer given by the nickname-needy press to a Neptune serial killer chased in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."

-Inigo

E. Frankston
See Frankston, E.
Eagles

Band. Poor Keith, his slang is stuck in the seventies, along with Jackson Douglas's dad. The Eagles are remembered in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb" and 1.13 "Lord of the Bling."

-Inigo

Eames, Sarah

Someone who works at the Hearst Free Press and certainly not a New York City cop who used to be on the Major Case Squad with some guy named Goren. No sirree. Her name was on a piece of paper in 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's." Chung chung!

-alliterator

Earl

Veronica's buddy who works at the impound yard. Troy is impressed that Veronica has a buddy named Earl, but he is positively excited to learn that Earl can get him a great deal on a good-times van in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."

-Inigo

Earl #2

Leo's partner in shadowing Gia Goodman on the commission of her father. Earl, just trying to be a better shadower, probably sits in the car and sings to himself:
Hi! my name is.. (What?) My name is.. (Who?)
My name is.. *scratches* Earl, lady
Hi! my game is.. (Huh?) My game is.. (What?)
My game is.. *scratches* to be shady
Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I not have your attention
For one second?

Earl's karma keeps him in park in 2.20 "Look Who's Stalking."

-Inigo

Earlimart

Band. All they ever do is sing. And get researched by Collin in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."

-Inigo

Easter Bunny

Holiday rabbit. When Aaron is acquitted of the murder of Lilly Kane, Veronica reveals the horrible truth: the Easter Bunny isn't real. Now the Easter Bunny hatches (geddit?) a plot to get its revenge. All we can say is, Veronica better watch which eggs she eats next Easter after 2.22 "Not Pictured."

-fickledame

Eastwood, Clint

An actor who played the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone's spaghetti western trilogy A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. He didn't have many lines, unlike his other famous role, Dirty Harry. Veronica actually quotes from one of his less famous roles from The Outlaw Josey Wales in 3.01 "Welcome Wagon."

-alliterator

Echolls, Aaron
 
Echolls, Kt

The online name of (Ka)Trina Echolls? Seems the most likely candidate. But why would she be emailing Veronica things like "lol ü"? Mäybë Kätïë knøws thät møøsës ärë dängërøüs äs wëll ïn 2.08 Ähøy, Mätëys!

-alliterator

Echolls, Logan
 
Echolls, Lynn
 
Echolls, Trina
 
Eckwood Solomon, III
See Solomon III, Eckwood
Ed Argent
See Argent, Ed
Ed Doyle
See Doyle, Ed
Eddie

Another fireman, just like Adam. And, just like Adam, named for a friend-of-Rob's/ writer-on-Lost-type person — Edward Kitsis. The writer is probably flabby and pale. Our Eddie has muscles! Lust away, boys. He's in action in 1.01 "Pilot."

-wyk

Eddie "The Worm" LaRoche
See LaRoche, Eddie "The Worm"
Eddie Nettles
See Nettles, Eddie
Eden, Barbara

'60s sitcom actress. When Barbara Eden was feisty and young, she played the title role on I Dream of Jeannie as a genie in a bottle who served her master, astronaut Major Anthony Nelson. There are a lot of obvious jokes to be made here, the least of which involves lyrics to a Christina Aguilera song, but we'll just say that Desmond thinks Veronica resembles the actress in all of her petite, blonde, and helpful glory in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."


Edgar, Gregory

Actor. Who did Gregory sleep with to be the only one of Veronica's Tom Cruz look-alikes to get a full-face, full-name appearance? His piccie shows he is kind of cute, in a I'm-an-older-less-hot-Wentworth-Miller sort of way in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."

-Inigo

Edgar Allan Poe
See Poe, Edgar Allan
Edie

Returned dog. Another dog-loving Neptune citizen got his canine back, thanks to the miracle of hard dollars. Dognapper Hans makes a profit in 1.19 "Hot Dogs."

-grimsqueaker

Edisto, Marvin

Pi Sigma-ite. He smiles nicely in his portrait on the wall of the Pi Sig frat house. Does this smile hide the low IQ and matching low level of moral fortitude common to many of his frat brothers? We don't find out in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."

-public displays of lust

Eduardo "Thumper" Orozco
 
Edward Marlow
See Marlow, Edward
Edward O'Sava
See O'Sava, Edward
Edward Reed
See Reed, Edward
Edwin Fuller
See Fuller, Edwin
Egostroke, Dr.

Veronica's name for Tom Griffith. Telling Veronica that her body is just perfect and does not need plastic surgery makes dear old Tom a nice guy and a responsible medical doctor. Telling the sheriff that he was the mysterious witness who found raving Logan and dead Felix on the bridge makes him a liar and a crook. Tom is two-faced like most people in Neptune in 2.07 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."

-grimsqueaker

El Diablo

Veronica's nickname for Weevil. Hey, since this episode involved a supercomputer and several cool gadgets, would it have hurt Rob to include a robot Weevil? That way, it could have been called El Diablo Robotico! Sadly, the Devil (or Weevil) didn't build a robot in 3.19 "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down."

-alliterator

El Duderino

Alternate nombre for The Dude, possibly when drinking tequila. Veronica habla con El Duderino en 2.07 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."

-Polter-Cow

El Suave

A fratboy at Pi Sigma. Apparently, "El Suave" is Spanish for "The Smooth One," which is a pretty sweet nickname. However, considering this fratboy probably never earned that nickname, we feel it's more appropriate to call him "El Borracho" in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."

-alliterator

Elaine Stephenson
See Stephenson, Elaine
Elaine Van Lowe
See Van Lowe, Elaine
Eleanor Roosevelt
See Roosevelt, Eleanor
Eli "Weevil" Navarro
 
Elizabeth Bennet
See Bennet, Elizabeth
Ellen DeGeneres
See DeGeneres, Ellen
Ellen Rousch
See Rousch, Ellen
Ellen Sinclair
See Sinclair, Ellen
Ellen White
See White, Ellen
Elliot, Pauline

Student scientist at Hearst developing a pill to let fat suburban men eat cheeseburgers. She's kind of a cold-hearted bitch, caring more about her year's worth of research on a primate than the actual adorable monkey itself. But you can't fault her for her devotion to her work in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey."

-funky-donut

Played by Linara Washington.
Ellis, Fred

Dog owner and frequenter of the Pine Veterinary Clinic. He is as old and droopy as his Basset Hound, according to a stalking Veronica in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."

-Inigo

Ellis, Jeffrey

Something. In a movie. What does it take to get your name on a clapperboard? Being first assistant director on a TV show maybe? Whatever it is, Jeffrey did it, as we see in 1.10 "An Echolls Family Christmas."

-Inigo

Elmer

The personification of a brand of glue. Was it named after this famous composer? Or was it named for this lispy hunter? Or how about this lovely little hamlet in New Jersey? No to all of the above. The glue was actually named after the fictional spouse of a fictional cow — Borden's famed mascot, Elsie. Madison doesn't want to get gooey gluey in 2.13 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough."

-funky-donut

Elmire

Character in Tartuffe. She is played by Jenny, but due to a fine layer of Pam on the stage, we don't get to see her thespian skills in action in 3.05 "President Evil."

-Polter-Cow

Played by Jennifer Segal.
Elsey, Brad

One of the deeply buried links, sandwiched between H. Jardon Ent. and Monique Inc., in Veronica's trail to the Aaron's Kidz money. Or a real-life electrician on the show. Or maybe both? Veronica discovers that he's a direct link to Charlie Stone in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."

-fulfilled

Elvis Presley
See Presley, Elvis
Emily

Mother of Sarah Williams and wife of Randall. She is in for a distasteful denouement. What an amazing coincidence! Those of us not obsessed with Logan and/or Weevil have the exact same lemon-sucking reaction as Emily when we finish watching the woeful 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."

-Inigo, wyk

Played by Eve Gordon.
Emily Dickinson
See Dickinson, Emily
Emily Patterson
See Patterson, Emily
Emily Waldorf
See Waldorf, Emily
Emma Harris
See Harris, Emma
Emma Woodhouse
See Woodhouse, Emma
Emmy

Plant-loving scientist who works with (or, rather, near) Pauline and Gil Thomas. Her ears are sensitive, leading her to steal Oscar's banana; her heart is sensitive, assuring Veronica that she would never impede with scientific progress, despite her competitive nature; and most of all, her nipples are sensitive, leading her to complain about the A/C in the lab. Emmy causes frustration for the animal-lovers and provides a few clues for Veronica in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey."

-fulfilled

Played by Brittany Ishibashi.
En Vogue

Female singing group. This popular quartet from the ‘90s had mostly an R&B groove, but they weren't afraid to push the envelope when they recorded the heavy-metal-inspired "Free Your Mind." Mason urges Wallace to follow the group's advice: in other words, stop worrying so much about school. But Mason doesn't mention that Wallace's free education depends on using his free will to maintain a passing GPA in order to keep his free basketball scholarship. En Vogue is misrepresented in 3.05 "President Evil."

-topanga

Enbom, Dean

Castle member, class of 1934. Clearly an ancestor of the Neptune Enboms, he provided his scions with the resources to own an airline, produce Hollywood films, and write for destined-to-be-cancelled television shows. We hope Veronica Mars doesn't destroy Enbom's career in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."

-Polter-Cow

Enbom Sr., John

The Spielberg of the Hollywood of Aaron Echolls. He's famous enough to get "A John Enbom Film" on the billboard of Aaron's first star vehicle, The Long Haul, even though he didn't write it (that was Marcus Silva and Jim Hunsaker), direct it (that was John Kretchmer), or produce it (that was Klemmer Productions). Whether or not he went on to buy an airline and reproduce a junior John Enbom, we have no idea. All we can say is that someone, somewhere, is really sucking up to the real-life Veronica Mars writer by using his name so freely. John gets high billing in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."

-Inigo

Enbom, John

09er whose dad owns an airline. The kid needs to study, as airlines ain't worth what they used to be. We wouldn't want to see that gold card turn to lead. Unfortunately, his daddy's money — though able to buy fake IDs for his classmates — isn't enough to buy him more than a one-word speaking role. This nearly mute rich kid, who shares his name with one of the show's writers, makes his first appearance in the pilot and appears, in person or name, regularly. He proved he had vocal cords when he said "Logan" in 1.12 "Clash of the Tritons," and we learned of his fake ID racket in 2.06 "Rat Saw God," which didn't keep him from graduating in 2.22 "Not Pictured."

-Inigo, Polter-Cow

All bios: 2.22 2.06 1.12 1.01
Leroy "Encyclopedia" Brown
See Brown, Leroy "Encyclopedia"
EnriqueFreaque69

Ibiza party girl. She wants to video chat with Veronica Mars who, somewhat surprisingly given the giveaway presence of a number one less than Wallace's purity rating, does not respond as one might expect to such an invitation. Instead, Veronica sets up her camera and beholds a European blonde who is not stripping, but rather responding to Veronica's request for information on Amelia DeLongpre in 2.06 "Rat Saw God."

-Inigo

Played by Verina Marcel.
Epstein, James

According to Planet Zowie, an artist...probably. His name came up when Keith searched for Papa's Cabin. It looks like he painted "The El Cayon Landscape." He is sure to be no Isaac Mendez, but perhaps instead of painting the future while stoned, he comes up with the names for his works in a similar state. James's torment is n-less in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."

-Inigo

Epstein, Sarah

Neptune lawyer who is not Cliff McCormack. Yes, she has a better clientele than Cliff. Yes, she is more respected. Yes, she did win a multi-million-dollar lawsuit against Neptune Memorial Hospital. But can she say "tawdry" with so much Cliffosity that Rob Thomas would use it as a sound clip on his site? I think not. Her name, but not her face or voice, appears in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."

-Inigo, wyk

Eric Jennings
See Jennings, Eric
Erica Jong
See Jong, Erica
Erica Patrick
See Patrick, Erica
Ernest

Pomeranian named after a famous winemaker. Kind of a pretentious name for a dog, especially coming from famed humanitarian Selma Hearst Rose. Then again, Ernest is a Pomeranian in 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's."

-funky-donut

Ernest Hemingway
See Hemingway, Ernest
Ernesto Miranda
See Miranda, Ernesto
Ernie Sawyers
See Sawyers, Ernie
Ernie Sayers
See Sayers, Ernie
Escalante, Jaime

Teacher. Edward James Olmos was commanding as Escalante in Stand and Deliver, which dramatized his mission to save humanity's children from a fate worse than nuclear winter — ignorance. The old man urged his students to pick a side, come out swinging at adversity and apathy, roll the hard six, and find Earth pass the AP Calculus exam. So say we all! Cervando Perez was loyal to Escalante's example, according to the gossips in 2.02 "Driver Ed."

-marksoflove

Esmerelda

A girl in Tijuana. Logan insisted he closed the deal with her in VIP. From the look on his face, this is most likely a euphemism for their having exchanged business cards...or something in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."

-Inigo

Esparza, Amy

Neptune High student who must be hot, since Corny gets excited thinking about her answering the door in her unmentionables. Unfortunately for him (and us), it's all a ruse to taser Corny. That sneaky Pizza Mugger! Dangling the hope of half-nude females only to crush them in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."

-alliterator

Esparza, Cervando

PCHer and Neptune High student who died in the bus crash. Or is he? The mystery of Cervando is one that pervades every aspect of the show. Not only is he not a real big fan of bleach, but Veronica says that his last name is Luna, and a newspaper article put his last name as Perez. So which is it? Perhaps none. Perhaps all. Perhaps Cervando is one of those rare individuals who has three last names that can be used interchangeably. Or maybe, just maybe, someone, somewhere made a mistake. That's a possibility in 2.02 "Driver Ed," 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster," and 2.18 "I Am God."

-alliterator

Estée Lauder
See Lauder, Estée
Esther Pomroy
See Pomroy, Esther
Ethan Lavoie
 
Etheridge, Dan

Graduating student from the class of aught six. I know, I don't hear it either, but my (web)mistress swears his name is there, in the middle of the Ls which just goes to show that Clemmons's alphabetizing skills suck. What will Dan grow up to be — a doctor, a lawyer, a producer on a TV show about a teen detective and right hand man of the show's creator in San Diego? The world is his oyster after he gets his scroll in 2.22 "Not Pictured."

-Inigo

Etler, D.

Hearst professor who teaches Wallace METech. Mechanical Engineering Technology? Mostly Engineering Technobabble? Me Tech, focusing on personal electronics? Whatever it is, Wallace had better hope Professor Etler can teach him to be in two places at once, since METech shares the same time slot as his Economics course. This instructor's name appears on Wallace's class schedule in 3.19 "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down."

-misskiwi

Evan

Business contact that the odious Roger Hearst is anxious to reach. Evan, he wants Evan, and his tantrum's so that he can hardly speak, and he seems to find the happiness he seeks when they're put together chatting cheek to cheek. Evan might even be wearing a top hat in 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's."

-Inigo

Evan Rachel Wood
See Wood, Evan Rachel
Eve

Bibilical first woman and eater of forbidden fruit. Veronica is to Piz as Eve was to Adam...well, minus the giving of ribs, the banishment from paradise, and the begetting of all mankind. Given the enthusiastic reception to the Internet footage of Veronica and Piz "getting familiar," it's unlikely they sported the tastefully placed leaves of their Biblical counterparts to hide their naughty bits in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."

-misskiwi

Evelyn Bugby
See Bugby, Evelyn
Evva Fenley
See Fenley, Evva
Ex-Con

Former inmate. He prevents Weevil from punching their boss — though he desperately deserves it. His sage advice to Weevil, that hitting an employer isn't worth an extra year in prison, is born of experience. Bruno plays an a ex-brute in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."

-funky-donut

Played by Bruno Amato.
Exene Cervenka and the Original Sinners

Band. If they were trying to imitate the popular David Fincher movie with their new album title, they got it wrong. See, the movie is Se7en. The numeral 7 functions AS the v. The album, however, is Sev7en. What the hell is that? How do you even say that? "Sevsevenen"? Regardless, the band and album appear to be KRFF-approved in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."

-Polter-Cow


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