1.03 "Meet John Smith"

Aired Oct 12, 2004

Quotes

• Owen: Eight and a half. That's my final offer. Justin: Dude. She's that smokin' and a private eye? That's gotta make her at least a nine.

• Troy: Guess what I'm doing this weekend.

  Veronica: I'm guessing it involves autoeroticism.

• Keith: Have you been playing nice with the other children?

  Veronica: You know, Dad, I'm old school. An eye for an eye.

  Keith: I think that's actually Old Testament.

• Logan: That girl is seriously whack.

• Owen: You're going to study group later? Justin: Oh, dude, I can't. I'm gonna hook up with Veronica Mars. Owen: Yeah, and I'm going parasailing with Halle Berry. Justin: No, I'm serious. She's working this case for me. She's gonna help me find my missing dad. Owen: Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't your dad die, like, seven years ago? Justin: Well, then I guess it's gonna take her a long time to find him. Oh yeah.

• Veronica: Wallace is a friend of mine. Take that, high school guidance counselor!

• Keith: Part of me is proud...and let's just leave it at that.

• Keith: So how did she rope you into this? Wallace: She promised me all the answer keys to...she's promised to be my friend. Keith: I'd have held out for a better offer.

• Wallace: He brought you a mix tape.

  Veronica: Shut up. Hey, do me a favor.

  Wallace: Please be kidding.

• Troy: Let me see your phone.

  Veronica: What are you doing?

  Troy: It is now booty-call-enabled.

  Veronica: In case I need a little late night action?

  Troy: Action. Investment advice. Whatever.

• Veronica: Hey, would you do me a favor?

  Wallace: Why did all the hair on the back of my neck just stick up?

• Wallace: You called your geometry teacher a jackass?

  Veronica: That's totally taken out of context. Let me see it.

  Wallace: Ah-ah-ah-ah! Hold up, grabby. I'm discovering a whole new side of you.

• Troy: I'm kinda tired of this song. [smacks the jukebox] I would have expected sex, had that worked.

  Veronica: Had that worked, you would've gotten it. Try it again.

• Veronica: I should really get home. I'd invite you over but it's a school night and my dad owns a handgun.

• Keith: How was your date?

  Veronica: Oh, you know. Lousy conversation, but the sex was fantastic.

  Keith: That's not funny.

  Veronica: I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was.

• Wallace: Justin's permanent file. You might want to take a look at that.

  Veronica: Why, is it going to self-destruct in five seconds?

• Keith: Someone to see you.

  Veronica: Describe this someone.

  Keith: White male, pint-sized, desperate, and not having a good day.

• Troy: Don't run, Veronica. People might think that you're desperate. Veronica: That would be a step up, reputation-wise.

• Logan: Hey, uh, I thought your boy toy Troy was gonna be joining us for happy hour this afternoon. You don't suppose he got, uh, waylaid by Veronica, do you?

• Jake: Off a bleacher?

• Veronica: All right, fine. Meet me at my car after school, but remember: I'm the one in charge and you'll do as I say.

  Wallace: You should've seen her before charm school.

• Lilly: Hey, you know what makes absolutely no sense? My disappearance. Murder. Whatever. How it supposedly went down. So bogus, right? And here's the thing: the truth is gonna come out. Duncan: What are you talking about? Lilly: Clue in, Donut. It doesn't add up.

• Veronica Voiceover: Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember....Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild....Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on....But if you're like me, you just keep chasing the storm.

• Veronica: Doesn't she care about me?

  Adrianna: You're all she cares about.

  Veronica: Mark me down as skeptical.

• Veronica Voiceover: The problem with chasing the storm is that it wears you down, breaks your spirit. Even the experts agree. A girl needs closure.