1.04 "The Wrath of Con"

Aired Oct 19, 2004

Quotes

• Keith: Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you: if he's gonna be kissing my daughter on my porch for eight-and-a-half minutes, I'll need to meet him. Sweet dreams, honey.

  Veronica: Is that really necessary?

  Keith: He's taking up a lot of daddy-daughter time. I hardly get to see you.

  Veronica: I see you constantly.

  Keith: Oh, sure. You see me, but we don't do anything.

• Lilly: Why do you insist on suppressing your hotness? The world is ready for you, Veronica Mars. You don't have to blend in.

• Lilly: Why do you even have this? You are not a yellow cotton dress! Veronica: What am I? Lilly: You're like...you're...you're red satin. You are strapless red satin!

• Lilly: The dance is just a lame excuse for a new dress and a limo party. Logan has got all the refreshments taken care of, so it's gonna be amazing.

  Veronica: No, I can't do that! You know my dad. He will find out, and I'll get crushed.

  Lilly: You'll get grounded.

  Veronica: Severely.

  Lilly: Oh, whoop-de-frigging-doo, Veronica, I mean, grounding lasts what, a week? You are gonna remember this fun we have for the rest of your life. Trust me.

• Wallace: Everything's gonna be fine, Georgia. We'll get 'im.

  Veronica: Will we, now?

• Veronica: My dad wants to meet you.

  Troy: That's cool. I'll pick you up at the door. I mean, I can't do the beep-and-wave but that's no problem.

  Veronica: My dad's a little intense.

  Troy: Don't worry. I give good parent.

• Duncan: What the hell is she doing? How long does it take to put on a dress?

  Celeste: Honey, you know your sister. It's not an entrance if she's on time.

• Lilly: Hey, I'm only young once. How many braless years do I have left?

• Karl: I'm sorry. Didn't I tell you that it had to be in cash? Veronica: Did you? Karl: Remember? I can't deposit anything at the bank because all my accounts are frozen...until my birthday. Veronica: Okay, I'll...it must be the hair. Blonde.

• Wallace: It's a gaming club. It's like a bunch of computer nerds trying to blow each other up. Only girls they see in there are Japanimated. So, you're not going to really blend. Veronica: So I won't blend.

• Liam: Stop killing your own team!

• Veronica Voiceover: Come on, loser. Show yourself.

  Grant: Hey! I'm on your team, lamer!

  Veronica: Wow, I'm really bad at this.

• Wallace: It's not going to work. You can't take the cool outta me. Look — pocket protector and I'm still full of pimp juice!

• Veronica: So...you like her, we're just not talking about it?

  Wallace: Yes.

  Veronica: Do you like her a lot?

  Wallace: Yes, I like her a lot. Yes, I go two floors out of my way between classes so I can see her. Yes, I volunteer to reorganize an entire filing system of attendance crap, just so I can be in the same room with her. You happy?

  Veronica: I still think you're a badass.

• Lilly: What did you think of Veronica the first time you saw her?

  Logan: I dunno, I thought she was hot.

  Veronica: I was twelve when you moved here!

  Logan: Oh, and like you weren't working it in your shorts and your knee socks.

  Veronica: That was my soccer uniform!

  Logan: Whatever, it totally worked.

• Logan: A little girl-on-girl action in the limo!

  Duncan: Oh, man! Dude! That's my sister and my girlfriend.

  Logan: Yeah, dude, like that one's not in the rotation.

• Veronica: Our boyfriends are all class.

• Wallace: "Papa bear"?

  Veronica: Never happened.

• Wallace: My first college party: drinking piña coladas with a dude and talkin' about math.

• Logan: What part of my ignoring you makes you think you're welcome?

• Logan: I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boy's locker room after watching the cheerleader tryouts.

  Duncan: Dude, you are so dead.

• Keith: Any drugs on the premises, Mr. Winters?

  Grant: Caffeine?

• Liam: Don't you need, like, a warrant, or something?

  Keith: What do I need a warrant for? There's nothing here.

• Keith: So, Veronica tells me, um...well, actually, she hasn't told me anything about you.

  Troy: Well, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

  Keith: Neither do I.

• Keith: And you're gonna stay for the whole dance, I mean, you're not gonna leave early and go to a party or a hotel and still make it back by curfew?

  Troy: No, you...ah, I mean...the whole point of going to the dance...well, is to go to the dance.

  Keith: Good. So you won't mind then that I cancelled your reservation at the Four Seasons?

• Veronica: Hello, boys. Let me guess what you're thinking: paybacks are a bitch.

• Veronica: You need to lay off the caffeine, Grrrant, 'cause you're downright testy.

• Georgia: It just doesn't seem fair. I keep thinking about all the people they scammed and how they don't have kickass friends.

  Veronica: Did you know there's a whole anti-fraud agency in the FBI? I guess it's a big deal, and I was shocked to see how interested they were in the information I had on Liam and Grant.

  Wallace: Game over!

• Duncan: Oh my God. They called the cops.

  Veronica: They called my dad.

  Lilly: This is, like, the best dance ever. What seems to be the problem, officer?

  Celeste: Lilly. Are you drunk?

  Lilly: Ummm...not so much anymore.

• Wallace: Don't ask me, man. I stopped tryin' to figure her out day one.