Who's Who of Veronica Mars — A

A Brady
See Brady, A
A. Zinn
See Zinn, A.
Aaron Echolls
Aaron Echolls Action Figure

According to Veronica Mars, you probably own it. Action figures have come a long way since G.I. Joe was marketed to boys as such (as heaven forbid that they would want to play with dolls). Then came Star Wars, and a symbiotic and very successful partnership was born. If Logan's dad makes twenty million a picture, it's odds on that at least one of them spawned an action figure, much as the man himself spawned his obnoxious son who is, uh, obnoxious in 1.01 "Pilot."


All bios: 1.06 1.01
Aaron Garrison, Jr.
See Garrison Jr., Aaron
Aaron Staleman
See Staleman, Aaron
Abbott, Joseph

A member of the Castle class of 1928 and not, say, related to a cute girl living in Everwood, Colorado. We don't think. That would be some twist, though. Veronica sees his name on Jake Kane's hard drive in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."


Abby Schwartz
See Schwartz, Abby
Abel Koontz
Abigail Montgomery
See Montgomery, Abigail

Biblical patriach and champion heterosexual. Camp SelfQuest cites the time God said to Abraham, "Smite me some queers." More or less. I may have been listening to too much Bob Dylan. There's another sinner going unsmoten in 2.08 "Ahoy, Mateys!"


Abruti, Guy

Dorky former White Castle employee. Paid off handsomely to keep his mouth shut by Monte Rucker, Guy tries his best to live the high life, but his rock'n' roll persona impresses neither the ladies nor Chicago cop Nathan Woods in 2.12 "Rashard & Wallace Go To White Castle."


Played by Curtis Anderson.

One of the Jet gang members in West Side Story. As Neptune goes nuclear with the 09ers and the bikers at each other's throats, Duncan and Logan go Broadway to snark at each other. Maybe they both need to remember what Riff told the explosive Action: "Boy, boy, crazy boy, get cool, boy! Got a rocket in your pocket, keep coolly cool, boy! Don't get hot, 'cause man, you got some high times ahead. Take it slow, and Daddy-O, you can live it up and die in bed!" Funny that it's Duncan who is christened Action in 2.01 "Normal Is the Watchword."



Fireman, as is his friend, Eddie. Adam Horowitz, friend of creator Rob Thomas, was the inspiration, but that was before he became a writer on Lost and refused to make the show suck to dislodge its stranglehold on the ratings. Like a real friend would do. As for our fireman, we never get a clear shot of his face, but who needs a face when your tush looks so good in short shorts. Lust away, ladies. He is in action in 1.01 "Pilot."


Adam #2

Student at Neptune High. With Justin and Owen, he ranks the female population of the school. He lusts for Sarah Kramer. She is sooo out of his league, however good his olfactory faculties. His nose twitches in 1.03 "Meet John Smith."


Played by Andrew Levy.
Adam #3

The first man in the Bible. He fell victim to his wife's nagging ("Try the fruit, honey! Try the fruit!") and his own male ego ("God ain't got nothin' on me!"). He made nakedness naughty but nice ("Bring me my fig leaf now, woman! What do you mean, where'd I hide yours?"). He's to blame for humanity's downfall, according to Judeo-Christian tradition. The poster on the Hearst College wall agrees in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff," and Veronica and Piz probably wish he'd left that apple alone in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."

-Inigo, topanga

All bios: 3.20 2.16
Adam Bunting
See Bunting, Adam
Adam Grossman
See Grossman, Adam
Adam Hamilton
See Hamilton, Adam
Adam Levine
See Levine, Adam
Adams, Ansel

Philosopher photographer. Veronica chooses his words of wisdom, "the camera sees what the eye so often misses," for the backing of her camera display in 1.12 "Clash of the Tritons."


Adolf Hitler
See Hitler, Adolf
Adrian Monk
See Monk, Adrian

Big-mouthed college friend of Lianne's. Lianne stayed with her for a while, until fear of Keith and of her friend's inability to keep a secret made her run again. Veronica was too late to find her mother, but not too late to hear Adrianna's platitudes in 1.03 "Meet John Smith."


Played by Michelle Fabiano.
Aileen Wuornos
See Wuornos, Aileen

Somebody who will see Wallace later, according to Wallace's whiteboard. Presumably not Andrew Jackson, because he's dead, or Angelina Jolie, although Wallace probably wishes it was her in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."


Akira Kurosawa
See Kurosawa, Akira

The uncle of Mr. Pasqual, who now resides in a retirement home in Waikiki. If this were a Shakespearean play, we would say something like, "Prithee, nuncle, tell me whether a retirement home make ye gentleman or a yeoman." But since this is not, we won't. Keith finds Al underneath a donut in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."


Al Capone
See Capone, Al
Dr. Al Levine

Stuttering gambler and struggling artist. Alan may not be able to say the first word of any sentence without making several abortive attempts at it, but he does know how to sell his own football team down the river for the riches it will bring. The anything-challenged and creative poor are not normally the types who are ignoble on TV shows. So hats off to Veronica Mars for giving us such an unsympathetic, opportunistic villain in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."


Played by Jeremiah Lorenz.
Alan Dershowitz
See Dershowitz, Alan
Alan Douglas
See Douglas, Alan
Principal Alan Moorehead
Alan Oquendo
See Oquendo, Alan
Albert Huntley
See Huntley, Albert
Albert Hauser
See Hauser, Albert
Aldrin, Buzz

Former astronaut and second man on the moon. It could be the church talk that brought him to Weevil's mind when considering the unlikelihood of Liam Fitzpatrick's being a priest. It could be that sitting next to Molly Fitzpatrick makes him tingle. Perhaps he needed a shower and thought getting her to repeat the name was a quick way to get one. Buttttthhhhh. It's a mystery of time and space in 2.12 "Rashard & Wallace Go To White Castle."


Alexander Dumas
See Dumas, Alexander
Alexander Pope
See Pope, Alexander
Alexander, Thomas

A member of the Castle in 1930, Thomas "Tommy Gun" Alexander eventually became a member of La Cosa Nostra (i.e. the mob). Though he eventually rose to mob boss, he was still in therapy for depression and making sure his family stayed together in...no, wait, that was Tony Soprano. Thomas Alexander was just a name on Jake Kane's hard drive in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."


Alfandari, Henri

A member of the Castle in 1969. There's an audio confession from him on Jake Kane's hard drive. We're not sure what's on the tape, but it may be him saying "I killed him, I killed him, I killed him dead." Who knows in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."


Alfons Maria Jakob
See Jakob, Alfons Maria
Alfred Hitchcock
See Hitchcock, Alfred
Alfred Sharp
See Sharp, Alfred
Ali Baba
See Baba, Ali
Ali, Muhammad

Heavyweight boxer who was not a freak show, according to Weevil. Ali may not have been a freak show, but he was a magnet for controversy. Born Cassius Clay, Ali converted to Islam and famously refused to serve in Vietnam as a conscientious objector. He had a storied boxing career, including many famous fights like the "Rumble in the Jungle" and the "Thrilla in Manilla." Ali is an excellent example of the Golden Days of boxing in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."


Alicia Fennel
Alicia Roldan
See Roldan, Alicia
Alison Lohman
See Lohman, Alison
Alkaline Trio

Pop punk band. As you might guess, this band has three members. Each member has a pH greater than 7, with a maximum of 14. If each member is as basic as can be, then they represent a combined alkalinity of 42! Could the songs of this Chicago punk outfit be the answer to the great question of Life, the Universe, and Everything? Or are they too concerned with death, as implied by the skull on their poster seen in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes"?


Allen, Joe

Lawyer of sullied reputation. Disbarred for representing a fake accident ring; Keith discovers he is still in business in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."


Aller, Steven

Ogler. Who wouldn't take a peek at free porn starring that feisty pixie from across the hall? Maybe the virtuous, honest people of the world? Not at Hearst. Dick sends Veronica and Piz's sex tape to unscrupulous types, including Mr. Steven (no 'ph') Aller, in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."


Allie Thomas
See Thomas, Allie
Allison Shivan
See Shivan, Allison
Allowance Fairy

That bastion of childlike hope, the Allowance Fairy feeds on the dreams and aspirations of little kids and spits out fifty bucks every week. In Neptune, she rarely visits non-09er kids, sending her cousin the Minimum Wage Fairy instead. Her trade secrets are revealed by Veronica in 2.07 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."


Alyssa Milano
See Milano, Alyssa

A Veronica alias. Yes, she is a blonde, but don't let the ditzy voice fool you; beneath those curls and killer red sweater lies one of the sharpest minds in the P.I. biz. Veronica uses Amber to investigate the dirty dealings of a trust fund kid who emails strangers for money in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."

-Inigo, wyk

Amber #2

Victim of libel. Amber is most certainly a wonderful, sweet, and kind person. She probably helps little old ladies to cross the street and rescues kittens from trees. The fact that there are rumors impugning her good name is just another sign of the corruption of Neptune and will no doubt tie into the major mysteries of the year! Or maybe she just stole someone's boyfriend. Either way it's doubtful that Amber was informed of her status as a bitch since her none-too-bright enemy scratched this missive into the door of Cassidy's car instead of Amber's in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."

-public displays of lust

Amelia DeLongpre
See DeLongpre, Amelia
Amira Krimani
See Krimani, Amira
Amis, Martin

English novelist. Born into a literary household — his father Sir Kingsley won the Booker Prize and was knighted in 1990 — Amis is a novelist best known for Time's Arrow and London Fields. Logan's not a fan, as pointed out in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."


Amy Esparza
See Esparza, Amy
Amy Opper
See Opper, Amy
Amy Polk
See Polk, Amy
Amy Pope
See Pope, Amy
Amy Simmons
See Simmons, Amy
Amy Smith
See Smith, Amy
Anchor Person

She reads the news
with much enthus-
iasm and much amuse-
ment by showing views
of My Pretty Pony
while Desmond Fellows drinks booze.
Don't confuse
her with this lose-
r in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes Blues."


Played by Lee Ann Kim.
Anchor Woman

Anchors the Channel 9 newscast and reports Tim Foyle's confession of murder. She's obviously good at her job since she's able to refrain from rolling her eyes at the "T.A. Foiled" headline under Tim's picture. They must teach that kind of restraint in journalism school in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."


Played by Tamika Katon-Donegal.
Anders, Duane

Clerk at a convenience store. When he learns that he served Ed Doyle his last meal, his first words may be, "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" But, for the glory of clerks everywhere, he decides that being the last person to sell something to the guy who killed all those mallrats (does Neptune even have a mall?) can get him on TV. This was way bigger than that time Julie Dwyer drowned in the YMCA pool, after all. Unlike a certain stoner named after a letter of the alphabet, the reporters know he's not just chasing Amy or whistling Dixie. Living by a strict dogma of not making change (don't even ask!), he also strikes back at crass commercialism by putting a positive message on a bus tragedy T-shirt. We're sure he made at least 37 (in a row?). And he probably gave a free shirt to possible Jersey girl Ms. Stafford. Silent Bob speaks in 2.02 "Driver Ed."


Played by Kevin Smith.
Anderson, James

Head of security for L.T. Vandergraff. Or not. All we know for sure is that this was Keith's alias. It was used to good effect on a sourpuss jobsworth (Noun. A person who is very pedantic at work and strictly adheres to the rules; so called because of their oft used exclamation, "I can't let you do that, it's more than my job's worth.") in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."



Artist with magic hands; also, partner of Sarah Williams. He likes nudes. And strange arty things. And nudes in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."


Played by Adam Kaufman.
Andrea Sims
See Sims, Andrea
Andrew "Drew" Barndale
Andriotti, Dr.

Neurologist. Vinnie Van Lowe suspected her of having an affair with Coach Barry. Vinnie didn't know that the coach was actually her patient, otherwise we might be forced to accuse him of harboring a hidden love of Grey's Anatomy and its inappropriate relationship-having physicians. Dr. Andriotti explains away Vinnie's "incriminating" photos in 3.14 "Mars, Bars."


Played by Helen Eigenberg.

Snitch, co-worker, law enforcement...who knows? He gives Keith a tip on a bail jumper that leads to a Mars feast of meat. An all-round good guy, Andy gave the soon-to-be-fatter bounty hunter the skinny in 1.01 "Pilot."



Dumb and tortured vampire with a soul who...oh, wrong show. This one is no angel, but he is Weevil's uncle and has a body shop on the highway. Whether or not he'll ever give Veronica a full-service treatment remains to be seen. Angel was only mentioned in 1.01 "Pilot" but is seen in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."


All bios: 1.05 1.01
Played by Hector Atreyu Ruiz.

One of the frequenters of Mercer's Hearst College casino. She plays Texas Hold 'Em poker. She may or may not know when to fold 'em, but she knows a thing or two about how to fold her clothes, gaining a compliment on her wardrobe from that Bugsy Siegel wannabe in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."


Angela #2

Administrative assistant neither seen nor heard. What if Dean Cyrus O'Dell's lackey is Angela Lansbury? Taste the awesome. She and Veronica could super-sleuth together. But for now, she settles for answering the intercom in 3.06 "Hi, Infidelity."


Angela #3

Bank teller. The lone obstacle between Josh Barry and his small fortune in rare coins, Angela quickly accepts Josh's fake ID and lets him examine his safety deposit box in privacy. If by "privacy" you mean a room full of enormous windows. Angela is fairly clueless in 3.14 "Mars, Bars."


Played by Marcy Goldman.
Angie Dahl
See Dahl, Angie
Angie's Friend

The perfect audience, she approves of Angie's fraudulent tendencies and otherwise giggles a lot in 2.18 "I Am God."


Played by Brigitte Graham.
Anissa Villapondo
See Villapondo, Anissa

Veronica alias. Veronica uses this name to track down the last person called from a cell phone, pretending to work for the radio station KRAC in order to get an address. Veronica promises, but does not deliver, an iPod and a K-RACing good time in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."


Anna Grace

Mindy's boat. It calls for a song: Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from the Neptune port, aboard this tiny ship. The boat she was called the Anna Grace, the owner cute as heck. A widow, she set sail that day, with a big pay-out check, a fat juicy check... The lover started getting rough, thought he was double-crossed. They fought on the decking of the Anna Grace — the widow, she was lost; the widow, she was lost. The boat moored up off the shore of this romantic beachside bar, where Hemingway, known as Papa too, would drink away all his woes. The lover, drunk, confessed his crime to Sheriff Mars, here near Hemingway's bar. So this is the tale of the Anna Grace, the lovers now has-beens. They couldn't make the best of things in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."


Anna Nicole Smith
See Smith, Anna Nicole
Anne Phanco
See Phanco, Anne
Anne Sexton
See Sexton, Anne
Anne Shaughnessy
See Shaughnessy, Anne
Annie Hall
See Hall, Annie
Annie, Little Orphan

Comic strip character. Logan compares himself to her after Aaron dies. Whether he plans to don a curly red wig and captivate the president with a rendition of The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow we can only imagine. And… we do. What? We know you all do too in 2.22 "Not Pictured."



One of the names Tommy "Lucky" Dohanic used to email Woody Goodman. Anon seems to get around a lot — authors a number of famous poems, controversial letters in the newspaper and thousands of Valentine's Day cards each year. Perhaps Lucky was trying to be original here, but I think it fell flat in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."



Anonymous Person. Or is he? He responds to Veronica's ad in the Neptune Navigator about a green Barracuda, and all he seems to care about is getting the reward money deposited into his PayPal account. Turns out Mr. Anon might not be a random alcoholic or a compulsive gambler after all, but he could be Billy Greene, a PCH-er and brother of the grieving dog owner. Anon tries to a pull a fast one on Veronica in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."


Anquan Simmons
See Simmons, Anquan
Ansel Adams

See Adams, Ansel


Anthony Brundige
See Brundige, Anthony
Anthony Thomas Cruz
See Cruz, Anthony Thomas
Anthony Martin
See Martin, Anthony

Much-loved dog of Harry Greene. He met an unfortunate end when he was run over by Liam Fitzpatrick. He's no Lassie yet, but that is quite a claim to fame. Perhaps it's a lucky escape from being mistakenly skewered by his archery-enthusiast owner in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."


Apfel, Miranda

Hot chick. She's got some rather distracting...assets that make it worth twenty bucks just to talk to her and a talking-to from Veronica just to take her to a party. Unfortunately, she may not have a whole lot going on upstairs, since she asks Piz to dedicate something to her. Piz. Who hosts a talk show. That does not play songs. As any good, horny man would, however, he does his best to satisfy her wishes in the hopes that she'll satisfy his in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."


Played by Monica Allgeier.
Apollo Bukenya
See Bukenya, Apollo
Applebaum, Mrs.

Veronica's second grade teacher. She thought Veronica was a complete angel and a joy to have in class every day. Mmmmm. Our girl was either a real goody-goody or was refining her skills at deception even then. Veronica's school records are the source of Wallace's merriment, mirth and amusement in 1.03 "Meet John Smith."


Applegate, Derek

One of the boys from Woody's Little League team. Veronica goes to Woody's Burgers in an effort to identify the only boy in the photo who she could not contact. She manages to find out his name and so much more in 2.22 "Not Pictured."


Applegate, Ned

Neighbor of the Oliveres family and prospective buyer of their home. He keeps his beer in their fridge, and his...model school buses in their aquarium? No, not so much, it turns out. He shows how little he understands his duties as a neighbor named Ned by failing to utter one single "diddly" in 2.08 "Ahoy, Mateys!"


Played by John Maynard.
April Breck
See Breck, April
The Aquabats

Ska band! They purport to be superheroes from the island Aquabania! All of their album and song titles end in exclamation points! They're still popular after more than a decade! That is why you can see their poster on the KRFF wall in 3.18 "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer"!


The Archer

The centaur bowman that decorates the back of a dorm room door. It's no coincidence that the resident of that dorm looks like a throwback to the days of New Kids on the Block. The fine print on the poster reads:
I'm Moe, and I'm a Sagittarius
And I really, really wanna be used by only you
And I want you to only use me too.
And if this is the way it's gotta be, boy, then check me out
I wanna be used by you, Mercer

The significance is revealed in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."


Arcila, Humberto

Actor. Seeing as his agent has put a little thumbnail on the corner of his picture, we must wonder what's in the big picture. Humberto as Lear? Humberto as Ronald MacDonald? Humberto doing Humbert Humbert and naughty things with Lolita? His likeness to Tom Cruz may be questionable, but that's one hell of a stage name in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."


Argent, Ed

Meat-eating, gun-toting, chest-thumping rocker. Ed Argent did not sing "Cat Scratch Fever," form the Damn Yankees, or appear in that VH1 Super Group show. But he might as well have. This aging rock star is a vegan's worst nightmare in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey."


Played by Chip Joslin.

Neptune High student and animal rights activist. Supercilious, condescending and closed-minded, she leads the Students Against Animal Cruelty. Are her espoused principles genuinely felt or is she simply trying to ensure she has the monopoly on cow hide? From her dominatrix ways, we reckon there's leather next to that skin, waiting to be revealed in 1.16 "Betty and Veronica."


Played by Paityn James.
Armand, Ms.

A teacher at Neptune High. She merits a cubby-hole at least, so it is a fair assumption. Does Ms. Armand hammer facts into her students' heads, and is she more comfortable with the precision of le stat than the wooliness of la interp? Who knows? In the absence of any word approximating "assante," we are out of inspiration with regards to the hole in the wall seen in 2.07 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."


Armstrong, Lance

Seven-time Tour de France winner. If that's not awesome enough for you, he's also a cancer survivor whose Livestrong charity has raised millions for cancer research and cancer-survivor programs across the country. If that's still not ballsy enough for you, he also nearly married singer Sheryl Crow. (I'm going to hell for the ballsy joke, aren't I.) Karen admires Lance, probably for the cancer thing, in 3.02 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week."



Competes for quality time with Desmond Fellows in a My Pretty Pony trivia battle. He may have been able to pull a few facts out of his cargo shorts, and we're sure his KRFF T-shirt nabbed a few brownie points, but Arnold never stood a chance against our favorite audiophile, Piz. Arnold talks to the hand, and we resist shouting "Move it, football head!" in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."


Played by Jason Weissbrod.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
See See Scw Scha Schwartz under S.
Art Webster
See Webster, Art

A name. On a whiteboard. In an interrogation room. Is he a deputy? Is he a perp? Is he a misprint and in fact an order for a brand of ceiling covering that once used is damn nigh impossible to remove? This is one of the unexplained mysteries in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."


Arthur, Mrs.

One of Charlie Stone's colleagues at Calvert Academy, the supervising teacher for the food drive. She teaches in room 104 (French classroom? Art room? Student Council headquarters?) and has a heart for the less fortunate in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."


Artman, Jack

School newspaper editor. He's got the chops, see? Get him that lede or he'll have your ass! Jack Artman's got a perfect name for a newspaperman in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."


Played by Ross Kohn.

A name on Parker's whiteboard. Is she Ashley Banks? Ashley Wilkes? Ashley Simpson? Ash from Evil Dead? Well, probably not that last one, though it would be cool. Veronica's definitely got that "good, bad, I'm the girl with the gun" vibe in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."


Ashley #2

Hearst student. She has some SERIOUS matters to discuss with W. These matters appear to be SERIOUS in a HELA fashion. While one may first think that Ashley simply did not have time to add one more L to her HELLA, we suspect that she was referring to the HeLa cell line. She's probably working in one of those labs without monkeys, and she needs Wallace to change her media. Wallace, my lad, don't forget to add the glutamine in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."


Ashley Banks
Ashley Findley
See Findley, Ashley
Ashley Frohling
See Frohling, Ashley
Ashton Kutcher
See Kutcher, Ashton

Working for the Vice-Principal. Her important contribution to this particular story is telling Clemmons that there is a husky-voiced impostor assistant district supervisor on the phone, but this she accomplishes with fervor in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."


Played by Alicia Cole.
Assistant #2

The assistant to Clarence Wiedman, Jr.. Does this make her an assistant to an assassin? Anyway, Veronica plays a prank on her by telling her that her car is being towed. She's a poor nameless assistant in 2.06 "Rat Saw God."


Played by Erin Cronican.
Assistant #3

Secretary to Bill Lee. San Diego's leading ensemble theatre, Lamb's (hee) Players Theatre, provides the actress who gets to tell Woody's lawyer that Woody's daughter "Gia" wants him to call her on her cell, whereby Keith used that call to track the suspected pedophile. Jennifer, who no doubt got the gig due to a last name that stands proud in the minds of the makers of VM, makes what she can of a three-second appearance in 2.22 "Not Pictured."


Played by Jennifer Austin.
Atkins, Robert

Nutritionalist and creator of the Atkins Diet, which spread not unlike wildfire and led to such unusual things as low-carb dog food. Veronica watches Kendall watch her carbs in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."


Atom Ant

Cartoon member of the Formicidae family. With the catchphrase "up and at 'em, Atom Ant," this superhero would use his fabulous strength and flying skills whilst his Saturday morning co-star, Secret Squirrel, would dig out truths with his pre-Inspector Gadget gadgets and snooping nature. Keith must see a little of the former in his skills-of- the-latter-blessed daughter. Why else would he so instruct her to rise and conquer in 1.01 "Pilot"?



One of the Ladies of the Evening who advertises "A Night or Two?" How about a week or two? She'll stay the summer through, but she's telling you that she must be...well, what's the opposite of going? Aubrey certainly seems to be advertising to that effect in 1.17 "Kanes and Abel's."


Austen, Jane

Author of Pride and Prejudice and Emma. She wrote romantic comedies laced with satire of and insight into class warfare and gender roles, but because human nature has changed so much in two hundred years, her work clearly has absolutely no relevance to our lives today. At least according to people who name-drop Burroughs. Dissing Austen is a good excuse for the fans to hate Jackie in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang" and for Veronica to pour beer on a frat boy in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff," but Logan's making an Austen reference is a sign of the apocalypse in 3.06 "Hi, Infidelity."


All bios: 3.06 2.16 2.03
Average Joe

The average man. Everyman moniker for the man in the street who is smarter than Casablancas REIT investors, as is proved in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."


Avi Kaufman
See Kaufman, Avi
Avril Lavigne
See Lavigne, Avril

Neptune Families

Neptune High School

Neptune Town

Hearst College

Neptune Graveyard

Who's Who