3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf"

Aired Oct 24, 2006


Rejoice, friends of idle speculations, for today we present you a double dose of "guess the mysteries of Rob Thomas's brain": our intrepid duo of defective detectives is joined by the almighty intellect of misskiwi, who will mercilessly uncover the truth, no matter how hard it might try to stay buried. No, seriously, she even brought her own shovel. Let the digging begin!

grim squeaker: Morning, sunshine!

Inigo: Morning!

grim squeaker: How are ya?

grim squeaker: Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed?

Inigo: Eating cheese on toast, dog sitting, and doing the transcript. How 'bout you?

grim squeaker: I'm fine. Wanna spec?

Inigo: Ooh, yes.

grim squeaker: Goody!

Harmony — harmless lonely heart with taste, or ruthless schemer with a plan?

Inigo: You haven't seen Body Heat, have you?

grim squeaker: No. *hides*

Inigo: It's not compulsory.

grim squeaker: But I know what it is about.

Inigo: But I was getting vibes from that off of Harmony.

grim squeaker: Oh. Okay.

Inigo: She looked him up. She knew there was an attraction from the times they met before.

grim squeaker: Go on...

Inigo: She said that her husband, Marvin, described Carly as the smartest woman he knows, but I suspect Harmony may well be.

grim squeaker: (I have a really hard time thinking of her as Harmony, btw. Harmony is that blonde vampire chick...ahem. Back with you.)

Inigo: I think she's setting Keith up to do away with her husband — not that Keith would, but he could take the fall for it. You know, "I hired him to check out my husband, but then he became obsessed with me..."

grim squeaker: Hm...but why would she want to do away with her husband?

Inigo: She doesn't want to be married to him. She wants to be free and clear of him. This is just a first stage. We got the clue to Keith's arc in 301 and 302. He can't afford to make mistakes or people get hurt.

Inigo: I think Harmony is going to lead him down the path of a big mistake.

grim squeaker: You know, I sometimes wonder if the world would be a better place if people just had the possibility to just, well, separate from their unwanted spouses...oh. Wait.

grim squeaker: So, you basically think this is another incident of "Keith's radar for crooked women is tingling?"

Inigo: There are any number of reasons she can't go the normal route. Money might be a prime one. She might have her own lover on the side. Custody of her daughter could be a problem against this "perfect father."

grim squeaker: It's becoming a staple of this show. "Keith is interested in this woman. Is she a) an addict and an adulteress, or b) faked her identity, or c) plans to let him take the fall for the murder of her husband?"

grim squeaker: ...I am listening to you, don't worry.

Inigo: It was the way she fingered Keith's card during that first phone call. It just set my suspicions alight. Of course, that may be what it was supposed to do. Hm. Or mabye this is the mistake that Keith will make — to think she's evil and she's not, but he, like Logan, destroys his chance of happiness with someone else.

Inigo: I don't know, just the thought I was having.

grim squeaker: It's possible. I think we don't have enough yet to really tell one way or the other, but since they left the door open for her to be back...

Inigo: But I do expect one of the season's mysteries to have something to do with Keith. So that's my current, mercurial theory.

grim squeaker: Let's file that under "interesting potential."

This isn't the rape suspect you are looking for

Inigo: As for the rapist, I don't think the Asian guy is with Claire. I think he's waiting impatiently for her to get her money so he can use the machine.

grim squeaker: I'm not even sure the Asian guy was really the point, it was mostly that Claire still had her hair when she got her money. But, since she was so out of it, how did she manage to get her money from the ATM machine without any help? Veronica should have asked the cranky shop owner for a description of the guy who was with her.

Inigo: I think the guy with her was right next to her, out of the eye of the camera, telling her what to do, or even pushing the buttons for her.

grim squeaker: Btw, our theory of the Liliths faking it was slayed pretty thoroughly, wasn't it?

Inigo: So it appears.

grim squeaker: I'm actually kinda glad they didn't go there. And I agree on the guy with her standing next to her, but why didn't V ask for a description in the shop? Oversight, Ms. Mars, grave oversight.

Inigo: I expect her to go back with pictures, which of course taints any lineup, but is much easier for her and for the drama to work. Also, at this stage it would be too early to reveal him. I think we've lost a rape victim, too.

grim squeaker: Yep, Nish just has a cool haircut.

Inigo: It wasn't that. Something Nancy said in 301 made me think she was number four, and yet on the posters outside the frat house, Nancy is marked as #3. Hang on, let me find it.

grim squeaker: And Veronica doesn't have to go back to the shop owner with pictures, she only has to ask him whether the guy with Claire was Asian. And if he happened to be Asian, show the owner the picture from the ATM machine.

grim squeaker: It's okay, I believe you.

Inigo: I suspect Veronica will do that once she's cleared Asian guy as being an innocent bystander.

Inigo: Or now that she has the picture, yes. She didn't when she originally talked to him.

The mystery chick who is doing Chip, Part I

grim squeaker: Exactly. But still: sloppy, sloppy work. Anyway. Moving on. So, Chip's mystery visitor? Veronica was convinced it was Charleston's girlfriend, but I'm guessing it was the dean's wife?

grim squeaker: Scary aside: I'm beginning to like Chip. He is a good addition to the cast. No doubt he kills puppies in his free time.

Inigo: Hang on. Still on rape victims. That's it. Nancy said: "Two wasn't enough? Three wasn't enough." This makes no sense if Nancy was victim #3 and Parker, who hadn't been raped at this point was #4. So either, it's sloppy writing or there is another victim that Nancy knows about but who hasn't gone public.

Inigo: So Nish's haircut is still possible.

Inigo: Yes, I sort of like Chip too.

grim squeaker: No idea about the numbers of rape victims, I guess they just messed that up, writing-wise. So, Chip's lady of the night, the dean's wife, or Charleston's gf?

Inigo: I thought it was going to be the dean's wife but actually, I think it probably was Charleston's girlfriend. It's probably why Charleston was on drinks duty all night.

Inigo: Chip is a rogue.

Inigo: An intelligent Dick.

grim squeaker: An intelligent Dick is a scary thought. Anyway, I disagree about the partner in sweatiness, but I guess we'll see. If Chip really sleeps around so much, I'm betting he might end up quite dead at some point.

grim squeaker: Which probably makes him more of a male Lilly.

101 reasons why Moe the RA did it, chapter 23: Sexually Frustrated Psycho Boy Strikes Again!

Inigo: That's entirely possible but I hope not. I hate message TV or anything that panders to it. Anyway, what I found most interesting about it all was that whoever is committing the attacks on the girls is looking to frame the Pi Sigs.

grim squeaker: Well, at least it would be equal opportunity message TV: he would be the first guy punished for sleeping around.

Inigo: Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh.

grim squeaker: Muahahahaha!

Inigo: Which brings me back to Moe.

grim squeaker: Yes, the real culprit trying to frame the Pi Sigs is an interesting thought...

grim squeaker: So, does he do it only to distract from himself, or does he want to "punish" them?

grim squeaker: Or is it killing two birds with one stone: distraction and revenge for all the nerds?

Inigo: Remember that the hair removing isn't common only to the rapes. It's common to the pledges at the Pi Sig house who fail to score sufficient points.

Inigo: Now, remember how Moe got all distant when recounting that he had been one of the students to take part in Kinny's experiment?

grim squeaker: Yes, it was not exactly subtle. Accordingly, given how little attention I pay this season, it must have been positively anvillicious. So, has Moe lost his curly mane at some point? I just can't see him as a pledge.

Inigo: I know you can't. But be it Moe, or be it someone else, someone who was a pledge may have been completely humiliated by those two experiences taken together.

Rape is about power. Someone rendered powerless and hairless by the university, the girls he couldn't score with and the Pi Sigs, might be looking to do the same thing.

grim squeaker: So, we get a fragile boy broken by a hyper-masculine culture and driven to sexual violence two seasons in a row?

Inigo: Ah, good point.

Inigo: Okay, never mind.

Grim manages to kill the mood

grim squeaker: I mean, it's still totally possible, but at least part of it is Beaver redux.

Inigo: Yeah.

grim squeaker: Let's try it the other way around, maybe he was one of the guards in the experiment and just discovered he gets off on the power?

grim squeaker: Remember, in the original storyline it was the guard who most prominently went overboard.

grim squeaker: So, the main aspect would be the torture, and how easily people become torturers, and not the fact that the culprit wants revenge for humiliation.

Inigo: You've crushed my enthusiasm for that theory now. I even had an answer for Moe's anvil. It was to distract from the real anvil, which was with the Pi Sigs. But yes, a guard could get off on power or equally be humiliated in the experience. I do think Veronica should be looking into who has it in for the Pi Sigs anyway. Stacy's rape at least occurred after she attended the frosh do at the university, not after attending a Pi Sig party, although there must have been one the same night (unless Nish isn't that bothered about accuracy — which is entirely possible).

Inigo: See, the torture and the hair just don't go hand in hand for me.

grim squeaker: Grim squeaker — vanquisher of theories. Sorry...

grim squeaker: Well, taking someone's hair is humiliating. And Stacy and Parker both had very beautiful hair, a feature that greatly added to their attractiveness, and probably to their self-esteem (surely in Parker's case — remember that her fight with her mother, which mostly was about regaining self-esteem was about the wigs). It was taken from them to make them feel inferior, to crush their spirit. That's exactly what Jerk Guard did to Horshack.

grim squeaker: And in that vein, Moe is pretty condescending, he likes to put people in their place. Just think of his conversations with Piz and Veronica, and later with Veronica, he talked down to them.

grim squeaker: I mean, he clearly was being an ass like a lot of more experienced college students would be towards freshmen, but maybe there is something more to it.

Inigo: I would think there would have to be more to it. You're describing the attitude of a huge proportion of senior grades.

grim squeaker: Yes, but that could be subterfuge! They want us to think that he is just a normal condescending senior student, whereas he really is a creepy, evil, condescending rapist!

Inigo: I'm going back to the drawing board and the transcript.

Was that all?

grim squeaker: Okay. This was a short session.

Inigo: Is there more? I have no more ideas that don't feed off those.

grim squeaker: Does a bear wear a funny hat?

Inigo: Some bears wear funny hats. Spill.

Well, there's always Dick...

grim squeaker: No, I didn't mean that I have more ideas. Although, there is a thought right in the back of my head, and it's constantly screaming "Dick" at me. So, either I have really perverted thoughts, or there is something with young Mr. Casablancas that I can't quite name yet.

Inigo: It wouldn't surprise me if Dick was wrongly accused and incarcerated for the rapes.

grim squeaker: Hm. Maybe. Or...I don't know.

Inigo: But I don't see him as a "raper," in this context anyway. Whatever one feels about his terminology or attitudes, I think his "why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk" was probably accurate of his thoughts on the subject. One could argue that his desperation at Parker's and Logan's doors says different, though.

grim squeaker: Well, and his willingness to drug Madison, but given V's monologue before the whiteboard I'm guessing the show has decided to just forget that. The things that get lost when you move a party six months in the future...

Inigo: He wouldn't see Madison as rape. She's his girlfriend. He'd feel entitled. Not sharing the attitude, just thinking that's how he'd see it. Then again, he set Veronica up for Beaver, so maybe he would see a stranger the same way. I hate to use it, but one external reason for his being fingered, rightly or wrongly for the rapes, would be that he's been in all four episodes so far. That suggests he's going to be gone for the latter half of the season.

grim squeaker: Or it suggests that he has a different contract than most of the other minor players. Or maybe he will get killed off! (Whoops, was that the old Dick hate raising it's ugly head again?)

Inigo: I could see that happening.

grim squeaker: Huzzah!

Inigo: Particularly if it was the result of something Veronica did or uncovered.

Inigo: Added bonus, rift between her and Logan.

grim squeaker: You just made me so happy, it's unbelievable! :D

Inigo: Hee. What was with the changing of the date of Veronica's rape? Although it makes all kinds of sense that it was much later than December 2003 and after Lianne left in February, it was just so....off.

grim squeaker: The continuity fairy got really drunk in a biker bar?

Inigo: Must be it.

grim squeaker: I suppose it's the same thing they did with the bus crash last year.

Inigo: Hmm. Bad writers. Use MI.net for God's sake.

grim squeaker: Hee.

When stereotypes collide!

Inigo: So, are the vocal feminists representing mob mentality, and if so, why?

grim squeaker: Dear gods...

Inigo: Maybe a mob will rip Dick limb from limb just for your pleasure

grim squeaker: Yay. Because what I really miss about Deadwood are the extremely violent scenes.

Inigo: A Deadwood scene would fit in well right after Gilmore Girls.

grim squeaker: I'm not sure the vocal feminists are representing mob mentality, even though I really haven't done enough about mob mentality to give a sufficient analysis. I think so far they representate ignorance and one-sidedness, as much as the fraternities do. They are both sides of the same coin.

Inigo: There is a mob metality going on with Nish's group. It's compromised her intergrity as a journalist already and may have done in the latest article (the connection with Stacy being the most dubious it seems). Yes, I can see the Pi Sigs being described as a mob mentality too, but it's a more common one — put teenage boys together away from home and they spend an inordinate amout of time acting on sexual urges.

grim squeaker: Well...

Inigo: But it's the girls that are more interesting. They are more intelligent, it appears (although I think Chip's bright) and yet their collective IQ seems to drop quite significantly. I mean, they don't know who the rapist is and yet they've targetted the fraternities and the sororities. What's the logic?

grim squeaker: They are their natural enemies where ideology is concerned, and they are not completely wrong, in a way. I think the whole fraternity culture like it is presented here can be seen as a breeding ground for attitudes that let someone become a rapist. That doesn't mean that's all there is to it, or that everyone who buys into the fratboy culture is a rapist, or will be one, but it's easier for one to hide among these people. Does that make sense? They are so extremely unaware.

I think it's the same carelessness that was expressed by the 09ers in the first season, and that carelessness was an important factor in Veronica's rape.

Inigo: Yes, it does make sense, although I feel that makes them hypocrites, because they are not calling on closing the fraternities to stop the rapes, they're calling on closing the fraternities because they are ideologically unsound in their opinion. They look to punish the many for the acts of a few who are possibly not even one of their number.

grim squeaker: Well, that's why I said they are their enemies ideologically. I don't think it's hypocritical, I think they honestly believe that if the fraternities will be closed and the fraternity culture will be gone, no more rapes will happen.

Inigo: Yet they are seekers of knowledge at an educational institution who can no doubt easily research and discover that not all rapists, and I suspect a relatively small proportion of them, are frat boys.

Inigo: This is RTR territory really. My only interest in terms of the mysteries was that I wondered if there was a particular reason we were seeing polar extremes.

grim squeaker: Yes. But the girls are written as extremely stereotypical, and at the same time, it is situation such as these in which people might try to press their agendas. Again, the reason for the polar opposites might be that it's easier to represent the different fractions in broader terms. They also reflect Veronica's tendency to see things as black-and-white back at herself.

Inigo: That's true. I've just realised that Nish's definition of a Pi Sig party includes Theta Beta parties.

grim squeaker: Oops, gotta go. Appointment.

Inigo: Hello?

Inigo:What the frak...

Meanwhile, somewhere else

grim squeaker: Hi misskiwi!

misskiwi: So, how do you guys do this every week? Just put your thinking caps on and go nuts, or is there some kind of structure?

grim squeaker: Inigo did some spec with me after all, but we can still speculate a little, as well. Uhm, we just go nuts, basically.

misskiwi: I suppose I should work on my Inigo, too. *ahem* Wot's all this then? Cup of tea, love? Jolly good.

grim squeaker: Hee. Like twins separated at birth!

misskiwi: I'm sure she'll appreciate my skewering of British stereotypes.

misskiwi: Anyways, I've only watched the episode once, this morning before I left for work, so I'm probably going to be rusty on a few of the details.

grim squeaker: Well, given that she and I usually talk in American slang terms — you know, "yo," "dude" and all that...

grim squeaker: I have seen it only once, too, and that was yesterday around midnight, so I'm not very firm on it, either. :)

On Veronica's, erm, fabulous detecting skills

grim squeaker: Do you have any specific suspects for the rapes?

misskiwi: I shift around from week to week.

grim squeaker: Who is your current favourite?

misskiwi: Sort of like how Veronica shifts from minute to minute, only I don't go around blatantly accusing people.

misskiwi: Hm. Well, I definitely don't think her "acquital" of the Pi Sigs stands.

grim squeaker: Yes, that was rather quick. And besides, it only proved that Claire wasn't raped at the Haunted House.

misskiwi: First off, no way do we have a picture of the rapist in episode four. That would mean that, (a) it's not someone we know, and (b) all they have to do is find the guy in the picture.

misskiwi: Secondly, what if it was just some guy in line behind her?

misskiwi: Which is what I think is most likely. The rapist is probably off to the side, out of view of the camera.

grim squeaker: Yes. They could also show it to the shop owner, ask him if that was the same guy who was with her before.

misskiwi: So she didn't really absolve anyone. She's just making an ass out of her and them.

grim squeaker: You're right. And she'll probably accuse a completely innocent person, too.

misskiwi: Yeah, I bet the next episode, or maybe the one after, will have her tracking down the guy in the photo, accusing him of rape, and then finding out he's innocent.

The mystery chick who is doing Chip, Part II

misskiwi: I also think — and this isn't entirely relevant — that Chip was banging the dean's wife during the party.

grim squeaker: Yes, I thought so, too!

misskiwi: Veronica, on the other hand...

misskiwi: *headdesk*

grim squeaker: She was pretty quick in accusing Charleston's girlfriend, even though she knows Chip is famous for doing the dean's wife, doesn't she? She is totally off her game at the moment.

Another quick round of Dick bashing

misskiwi: Anyways, back to the suspects. I'm not really sure what to think at this point.

grim squeaker: I was also a little astonished at how quickly she dismissed Dick as a suspect, given how he acted in connection with her own rape.

misskiwi: Well, she only dismissed him as a suspect based on "identifying" the "real" rapist.

misskiwi: So she may well go back on that as soon as she comes to her senses.

grim squeaker: Well, I hope she does. Something is going on with Dick, too.

misskiwi: I like to think Dick's not the rapist because it would just be such bad, lazy writing.

misskiwi: Not only to just pull another main character and make him the bad guy, but to have had to retcon Dick into Hearst in the first place.

grim squeaker: I agree, making Dick the rapist would be lazy writing, but I think he has done something.

101 reasons why Moe the RA did it, chapter 24: Time is relative

grim squeaker: I still think it's Moe, the RA, but that's the normal procedure for me. I thought that Jake had killed Lilly until 119.

misskiwi: Yeah, I think Moe would be my top suspect too.

misskiwi: His alibi could be genuine but faked, if the girl who says she was with him was mistaken or tricked about the time.

grim squeaker: Yes. Or Veronica could be wrong if the radio show wasn't live.

misskiwi: What about the radio show?

grim squeaker: Remember when Veronica went into the room to get the tickets. She heard the radio show announcer, and I'm pretty sure that's where she got the time for the rape from. So what if it was taped, not live?

misskiwi: No, she got the time because she knew what time it was she went into Mac's room. They were going to a midnight movie.

misskiwi: That's why Moe's alibi holds up at this point. If he was with somebody until after midnight, then it was not him in the room with Parker when Veronica was there, and thus he didn't rape her.

misskiwi: If the girl is mistaken, Moe's back on the playing field.

grim squeaker: Hm. Okay, I got that wrong.

misskiwi: What intrigues me is that Moe's "alibi" was brought up in the same episode where we got Wallace fooling the prisoners in the sociology experiment by resetting the clock.

grim squeaker: Yes, true. *pondering*

misskiwi: Anyone whose whereabouts can be accounted for up to midnight is innocent.

misskiwi: And I guess we can assume, since Veronica is in possession of both facts, that Dick showed up at Logan's some time after 12.

misskiwi: Leaving him as a potential suspect.

grim squeaker: Presumably. I guess Chip can't be easily pinned down, so he is still in the running, too... (I don't really think he did it, but he is certainly a red herring.)

misskiwi: Well, I sort of think that the fact that he was "occupied" at the time of Claire's rape sort of makes him an unlikely suspect.

grim squeaker: We also had Veronica's criminology prof and Lucky TA, but so far, I really don't see much that really connects them to the rapes.

grim squeaker: Yes, agree about Chip.

About that sociology experiment...

misskiwi: Maybe Lucky TA was in the sociology experiment as an undergrad and got messed up in the head.

misskiwi: On the one hand, I could see Rob bringing the actor back in an important role.

misskiwi: On the other, pretty lazy to make the same actor play deranged psychos twice.

grim squeaker: Hee. Inigo has the same theory about Moe.

misskiwi: So do I. That prisoner comment was not for nothing.

misskiwi: So it was either for Moe, or to set up the eventual rapist as someone who was also in the experiment.

grim squeaker: Well, if the reappearance of James Jordan is really a "reference" to Deadwood, it might be valid, since they did the same there with Gareth Dillahue's characters.

misskiwi: I also kind of wondered about the dean and his taste for young grad students, but there's no way he could blend in at a frat party.

grim squeaker: No, he would be much too visible. Same goes for the criminology professor, btw.

misskiwi: Yeah.

misskiwi: On the other hand, Moe wouldn't exactly blend in with the Pi Sigs either.

grim squeaker: Maybe he has friends there, for some reason.

misskiwi: Maybe. And he does drive the Safe Ride Home cart, but presumably the girls are drugged before they leave the party, so that wouldn't really work. Unless he just drugs them when they're already drunk.

Movies don't create psychos — movies make psychos more creative!

misskiwi: Maybe there's two guys working together.

grim squeaker: The Scream variant? That would be sick.

grim squeaker: But who is it? Moe and one of the fratboys?

misskiwi: Maybe.

grim squeaker: Hmm. But wouldn't there be an exam for the girls, and wouldn't it be noticed if it were two perps instead of one?

misskiwi: We haven't heard anything about the forensics or any kind of exams, so I don't really think we can include that line of thinking.

misskiwi: But yeah, I would think DNA testing would show that there were multiple attackers. I don't think it's likely, it just crossed my mind.

grim squeaker: I wish they would throw a line or two about stuff like that out. Or have Veronica break into the police lab or something. Isn't Lamb kinda on this show? Doesn't he need something to do?

misskiwi: But what would Veronica do with that information? Start randomly assaulting people on campus for DNA testing?

misskiwi: Actually, that does sound like something she would do.

grim squeaker: Yay! That will be fun.

misskiwi: But really, there wouldn't be much that she would get out of the police reports that would help her case unless there *was* something unusual.

grim squeaker: Yes, I know.

misskiwi: So from a writer's standpoint, if there isn't anything unusual, they're not going to put it in the story.

grim squeaker: True. I was just spinning out the thought, and somehow got caught in CSI land.

misskiwi: Where things make sense and you don't accuse people randomly without proof?

grim squeaker: Hee. No, where people actually collect forensic evidence and it matters.

misskiwi: Ahh.

...but then again, he likes BSG!

misskiwi: Anyways, I have trouble buying Moe as a rapist, character wise, but the potentially flimsy alibi and the prisoner comment are keeping him at the top of my list.

Especially since none of the frat guys have been developed enough to become suspects, aside from Chip.

grim squeaker: Remember Beaver. We all thought he was nice, too.

misskiwi: Yeah.

grim squeaker: Moe is probably just pretending.

misskiwi: But he watches BSG! He can't be ALL bad.

misskiwi: Maybe Baltar is his favorite.

grim squeaker: But he thinks it is set in the future!

grim squeaker: And he uses frak because he is trying not to swear!

grim squeaker: (Sorry, I really disliked Moe.)

misskiwi: Hee.

misskiwi: I just thought he was a pretentious dork.

misskiwi: "Oolong?"

grim squeaker: "Biscotti?"

misskiwi: Hey, don't knock the biscotti.

misskiwi: Mmm, biscotti.

misskiwi: Laced with delicious GHB!

grim squeaker: I actually know people like that, that's the worst thing. [Er, pretentious dorks, not people offering roofied snacks.] I'm not knocking the biscotti, I'm knocking him for offering biscotti the way he did!

misskiwi: Hee.

Rewriting canon makes grim and misskiwi...something something

grim squeaker: Great, and now I'm hungry.

misskiwi: Me too. Actually, I'm going to go grab some soup for lunch. I'll brb.

grim squeaker: Cool.

misskiwi: Crap, they're all out. Ah, well, I'll grab lunch later.

misskiwi: So, I guess we're kind of agreed on Moe as the most likely suspect?

grim squeaker: Sorry, I had just gotten food myself. Ahem. Yes, I think we agreed on him.

misskiwi: Case closed!

misskiwi: Now let's go accuse him.

grim squeaker: We solved it, yay! Okay, you take the tazer, I'll take the dog. Before we confront him, we have to split up, so that he can get one of us alone, and of course we won't tell anyone that we are meeting him on the roof of a large building.

misskiwi: Sounds like a good plan to me.

grim squeaker: Great. Wonder if we can include a Jessica Fletcher monologue, too. And solve a few mysteries from the first season we didn't even know weren't resolved.

misskiwi: Did you know it was actually Chip who killed Lynn Echolls?

misskiwi: Except she's STILL ALIVE DUN DUN DUNNN!

grim squeaker: No, I didn't, but did you know it was really the TA who told Liam Kendall wanted to cheat him out of his share?

grim squeaker: And he did that because the Kane family paid him to do so.

misskiwi: But I thought the TA was the one who blackmailed Lianne into leaving town.

misskiwi: And raped Veronica in between Cassidy and Duncan.

misskiwi: Or was that the dean?

grim squeaker: It all goes back to the Kanes. Specifically, Little Lilly Kane, who planned it all. She is an evil child mastermind, even worse than Cassidy.

misskiwi: Of course!

misskiwi: But we're not bitter.

grim squeaker: Not. At. All.

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