3.03 "Wichita Linebacker"

Aired Oct 17, 2006


Hearst – football field: Veronica sits and watches a football player train. The coach is being very tough on him. She has a newspaper in her hand with a story about the Lilith House protest against the Hearst rapes. Logan arrives, and as they walk away together, two girls walk past and ask Logan if he's going to their party. He replies he'll be there, and Veronica asks who they are. He explains they are from his weightlifting class. Veronica doesn't seem too happy about it, and Logan asks if she's jealous. She explains she's annoyed that Logan's quick to agree to go to their party, but when she wants to hang out with him — he's busy. Logan points out that the things she wants to do are college-related activities. Veronica wants to broaden her horizons beyond drinking and video games, and Logan says he doesn't. She asks him to an art show, but he says he has a class until ten. She looks disappointed, and he invites her over afterwards. Veronica isn't impressed he won't do the stuff she wants to do but just wants a booty call. He says it's romantic, but she points out that Logan thinks weightlifting is an actual class.

Hearst – locker room: The player who was training before gets a drink out of his bag when he notices something is missing. He looks through his stuff frantically but doesn't find it.

Car wash: Weevil is dressed in a worker's uniform and picks up his bag. The manager asks where he's going, and Weevil says his shift ended half an hour ago. The manager says he has to wait for his relief person to arrive, and Weevil begins to get angry. The manager continues, and Weevil raises his fist to hit him. Another worker stops him and says hitting the manager isn't worth the extra time in jail. A car pulls up behind him, and he grouses that he'll just go and wash the spoiled bitch's graduation gift from daddy. Veronica comments that she's not spoiled, and the gift technically wasn't for graduation. He asks about the bitch part, and she says it depends who you ask. They talk about how Weevil's doing, since he got his plea bargain down to assault. Veronica is interrupted by a phone call, and after she hangs up, she explains that the Hearst dean wants to speak to her. The manager gets back and begins shouting at Weevil again for harassing Veronica. He calls him a cholo, and Weevil shoves him against a vending machine as Veronica tries to stop him. The manager says he's going to call his parole officer, and Weevil smashes the machine. He tells Veronica he hasn't changed, and it was nice seeing her.

Hearst: Piz follows a girl Trish, who runs the Hearst Radio Station (KRFF). He tells her how great his band "Black Licorice" is to convince her to give him his own radio show. Piz gets interrupted mid-patter by the player from the locker room, Kurt, who worriedly asks Trish if she's seen a big three-ring binder lying in his room that morning. She says no and asks what's wrong. He flatly says that he's dead.

Hearst - dean's Office: Dean O'Dell stands on his desk, jabbing the air conditioning vent with a broom handle, but to no avail. Veronica enters, and he makes a comment about not being able to keep the air conditioner working for more than a week at a time. Giving up, he climbs off his desk and accidentally knocks over a picture frame. Veronica retrieves it and looks at the picture. Dean O'Dell explains that it's a photo of his (much younger) wife, stepson, and his older son from a previous marriage. The older son has Kiss-like makeup on and wears a T-shirt with the word "Transplants" on it. The dean then shows Veronica the Hearst Free Press with her story about the marijuana plants. Referring to it, he says that it's rare that a freshman makes as big a splash at Hearst as quickly as she has, and he compliments Veronica on her sharp writing skills. Veronica tries to tell him that the editor meddled with the story. He ignores this and demands to know who informed her that a staff member had provided the marijuana seeds and who that staffer is. Veronica objects and says the information is covered under the protection of sources rule. The dean says that the rule applies at the New York Times, but not at a college newspaper. He gives her an ultimatum — reveal her source or be expelled. Veronica is speechless.

(Opening credits)

Hearst library: Veronica sits behind the help desk and her voice over says that she didn't give the dean the name of her source and the dean gave her a week to change her mind. Piz appears and Veronica playfully informs him that snails have four noses. He politely laughs and says that he needs a favor. It's to impress Trish, whose boyfriend has a problem. Sometime later, Veronica, Piz, Trish and Kurt are at a library table. Kurt tells Veronica that he's lost his football team's playbook, which he had in his bag, and that he'll be yanked off the team if he doesn't get it back. Veronica says her fee is $500. Piz and Veronica debate about the rate, which Piz thought was her friend's rate. She informs him that it's her "friend of a friend" rate, which has now been extended to "friend of a friend of a friend". Kurt quickly says that the rate is fine. Kurt suggests that the playbook might have been stolen. Veronica asks if he means by another team. Trish interjects that it could be by someone who wants Kurt off the team. Kurt says that Trish is talking about the coach, who, ever since Kurt's knee injury, thinks that he's a waste of a scholarship. Veronica asks Kurt to tell her about the night he had the playbook in his bag — where he went and who he saw.

Flashback: Kurt's voiceover recalls that he went to the art show with Trish, who's friend Larry had a few pieces on display. Then he went back to his room and played Guitar Hero with his best friend Pop from the football team. He stayed there for the rest of the night and some cheerleaders brought popcorn for Pop.

Hearst library: Trish comforts Kurt and says that he can get another scholarship if he looses football scholarship one. Kurt says that he loves the game and doesn't want to get kicked off the team. Veronica proposes that she could make a new playbook for Kurt to hand in instead.

Hearst campus: Veronica walks across campus when Dick calls her. They joke about him being drunk and Dick not understanding the words she uses. She points out he has class now with Logan. He says that the professor hadn't shown up after five minutes, so they were able to leave. Veronica wonders where Logan is, as she hasn't got any messages. Dick jokes that Logan's off nailing other chicks.

Mars Investigations: Veronica points out that Keith looks busy, and with her around less, he must have a lot of stuff piling up. He agrees, and she continues, saying he's probably be psyched if she found someone to help him out. Keith says it would depend on the someone, and Veronica suggests Weevil. Keith points out Weevil's track record of being arrested and having just been in jail for assault. Veronica says if he's not employed by his next meeting, he'll go back to jail. Keith still isn't sold, and Veronica brings out her best weapon — puppy dog eyes.

Mars Investigations: Weevil answers the phone and takes a call for Keith. He is very unprofessional on the phone. Keith then gives him a case file to read. The manager of a shoe warehouse thinks one of the security guys might be stealing the stock. He asks Weevil to stake it out that night. He gives Weevil a camera and explains what money shot they want.

Hearst campus – sports building: Veronica limps her way up a corridor, dressed as an athlete and asks someone for the direction to the trainer. She heads in that direction and finds the office of Coach Fry, Kurt's coach. The sign on his door says "Defensive Coordinator." She sneaks in, goes onto his computer, finds the playbook files, and presses "print." The printer is super slow, and before it starts printing, Coach Fry unexpectedly enters the office with Pop, forcing Veronica to hide under the desk. Coach Fry and Pop discuss Pop's scholarship options, and at this moment, the printer inconveniently starts printing. Coach Fry goes to the printer to investigate, but before the playbook pages come out, Veronica dramatically declares her presence, startling the coach. She climbs out from under the desk acting like a bimbo, and as she does, she subtly kicks the printer's power plug out of its socket. Still in bimbo mode, she says that she was doing a "hazing thing," and that her sorority told her to break in and steal a jock — the underwear, not the athlete. She asks if she could borrow one for a hour or two.

Hearst – Dean's office: The dean tells Veronica that she has the most colorful disciplinary file in the freshman class and offers to make it disappear if she gives him the name of her source. She doggedly refuses, and he threats her again with expulsion. They are interrupted by Nish, Fern, and a blonde girl storming into the dean's office, followed by two editors of the Lampoon. Nish and Fern start calling the guys jackasses and demand that the dean stop Lampoon from publishing misogynistic articles. The Lampoon guys show Veronica the offending article and ask for her opinion. It's a parody of the Lilith House protest story and implies that the blond girl, whose name is Claire, is rape material. Veronica gives a neutral opinion. Dean O'Dell tells them that Hearst has a free speech policy so the discussion on the article is over. He then changes the topic and he tells them that he and his wife went out last night and came back to find their car vandalized. He shows them a picture of his vandalized car. Veronica backs out of the room as both sides start accusing each other of doing it.

Neptune: Veronica crosses the road as a black Range Rover beeps the horn and pulls in. Logan gets out the car and asks Veronica what he is on a scale of one to ten. She throws out some random numbers before she asks what the criteria are. He says gentlemanliness — he resisted the impulse to make a booty call last night. Veronica says that the other day, her dad was saying she had a thing for reforming unreformable bad boys. Logan asks what that has to do with him. Veronica tells him Dick said the class was cancelled — Logan could have gone to the art show. Logan laughs that Dick's idea of five minutes is more like one minute and that the professor showed. She asks to see his notes, and he tells her to forget it. He offers to do something that night, but she tells him she's at work and that he could drop by. He says he might.

Hearst dorms: Veronica knocks on Mac's and Parker's room door. There's no answer. She asks a girl in the hallway about their whereabouts. The girl tells Veronica that they just left wearing work-out clothes. Veronica is left perplexed. Kurt and Trish walk by Veronica, and she joins them on their way to Trish's room. She tells Kurt that she couldn't steal him a new playbook. They enter Trish's room. There's a portrait of Trish with a note on her bed. The note is from her ex-boyfriend Larry, telling Trish she's still his muse and to dump Kurt. Trish says that Larry hates Kurt. Veronica says that Kurt had the playbook when he was at the art show and ponders out loud whether Larry hates Kurt enough to steal the playbook.

Mars Investigations: Keith flips through the surveillance pictures Weevil took. Weevil tells him that he doesn't think the security man did it. He shows Keith the picture of the driver sniffing and eating candy and says that he suspects the driver stole the stock to support his heroin habit. He then show's Keith the money shots, one of the driver unloading the truck and straining to carry the stock box, a second one of him carrying the box with ease. Keith congratulates Weevil on his detective work. Weevil smiles proudly. Keith then gives Weevil another case where the grandparents suspect their daughter-in-law is abusing their grandson. Keith tells Weevil to get some sleep before doing this stakeout.

Hearst art show: Veronica stands pretending to admire one of Larry's pieces. He asks her what she thinks. She in a roundabout way accuses him of stealing the playbook to get Trish back. Larry denies doing it and says that he's not a criminal mastermind, just a painter. Veronica quips that so was Hitler.

Hearst dorms: Veronica enters Kurt's room and asks Kurt to see the bag he used to carry the playbook. She inspects the inside of the bag. She explains that if Larry did it, he would have left oil paint marks. In her search, she turns the bag upside down and a single kernel of popped corn drops out of the bag. Veronica says that if Kurt lost the scholarship, it would go to Pop. Kurt quickly defends Pop and says that even if he did it, there's no way to prove it. Veronica cheerfully says that they can blackmail him.

Hearst library: Veronica writes a blackmail email out to Pop saying she knows what he did to Kurt. She's looking forward to Logan arriving, but he doesn't show up. After she helps a student find a book, she gets a phone call from Logan saying he can't make it, and he'll see her tomorrow. She leaves the library and uses her dad's cell phone tracker to trace his phone.

Hearst dorms: A faux-casino has been set up in a large dorm room, and the room is filled with people playing games like poker and blackjack. Logan is at one of the tables and spots Veronica arriving. They both ask each other why they are here, and the guy running it introduces himself as Mercer Hayes. Veronica asks if this is why she was stood up. Mercer asks if Logan's still playing, and Veronica says his seat is free. Logan points out he didn't promise to visit her. He asks her how she found him, guessing it was a bug or tracer. She tells him she traced his cell. Mercer asks them to move it outside. A guy with a stammer asks Mercer if he has a spread on that weekend's football game, and Mercer mocks him. He again asks Logan and Veronica to leave. Logan continues by saying her tracking down criminals is adorable, but doing it to him is another matter. She points out he said he'd come by, and he clarifies it was a might. Veronica said she heard the partying over the phone, and Logan gets annoyed, saying she doesn't like reforming bad boys, she just likes judging them. He tells her he's leaving, but to save her the trouble of spying on him, he says he's going to Mexico that weekend with Dick and Mercer.

Mars Apartment: Veronica lays on her bed in the darkness listening to a sad song. Keith comes in and tells her he got fired that day. He explains that Weevil was put on a child abuse case where the clients suspected their daughter-in-law of hitting their grandchild. Weevil found out it was the daughter-in-law's new boyfriend and beat him up. They realized what Weevil was doing there, lawyers got involved, and they lost out on their chance to take the child into custody. Veronica tries to plead on Weevil's behalf, but Keith says he has to let him go.

Mars Investigations: Veronica regretfully breaks the news to Weevil that he is fired. Weevil isn't surprised and takes it well. He asks Veronica if she knows of anyone else that could hire him because if he doesn't get a job in a week, he's going back to prison. Veronica tells him that she doesn't, but offers him a repair job on Dean O'Dell's car for $2,000.

Hearst library: Pop tries to check out a book. Veronica tells him that the blackmail note was from her and tells him to confess. Pop squirms and confesses that he stole Kurt's sociology assignment. Veronica is confused and asks if Pop saw the playbook in Kurt's bag when he stole the assignment. He said he did. Veronica asks what time he left Kurt's room. He replies that it was when Trish came and kicked him out.

Hearst radio station: Piz exitedly tells Veronica that he's got his own radio show, thanks to her helping Trish's boyfriend. Veronica says that she's glad he's got it because she's about to make Trish very unhappy. Veronica goes to Trish and ask if she's spoken to Kurt. She says no. Veronica lies and tells her that she saw Coach Fry making Kurt run up and down the stairs and screaming at him for loosing the playbook, which means he's not kicked off the team.

Hearst dorms: Veronica walks towards Trish's room, her voiceover says that it has been thirty minutes, enough time for Trish to breakdown. She hears banging from inside the room. She knocks and Trish opens the door. The room looks like it's been ransacked. Trish confesses that she took the playbook. Veronica tells her that she knows. Trish explains that the coach treats Kurt badly, and she wanted Kurt off the team so he wouldn't be miserable. Veronica tells Trish that she can't quit for Kurt and asks for the playbook. Trish says that it's gone.

Larry's dorm room: Kurt grabs Larry and demands for the playbook. The guy with the stammer from the faux-casino says, without stammering, that it's under the couch. Veronica says that this guy was sniffing out the spread on Saturday's game and speculates that he gave the playbook to the other team, Sonoma State, and betted against Hearst. The guy confirms Veronica's conjecture. Trish tells Kurt to not let the coach know about this, but Kurt says she doesn't know him that well.

Garage: Veronica admires Weevil's work on the dean's car. He asks if the dean is a friend of hers, and she tells him that actually he wants her expelled. Weevil says that's more like it, although he didn't expect him to be uptight — with the badass tunes he found in his car. He gives her the Transplants CD.

Heart dean's office: Veronica tells the dean that he can expel her, since she still won't give him the name, or she can make his problems with Lilith House and the Lampoon and the car all go away. He skeptically listens to her. She shows him the Transplants CD and says that it was found in his car. She explains that his son is a fan of the Transplants and that he snuck out the other night to go to their show and dented the car. Not wanting to get caught, he trashed the car to make it look like feminists did it. The dean stares at her, and then says that they're even. She says that he still owes her for fixing his car for free. The dean is surprised and asks her who fixed it.

Hearst cafeteria: Veronica bumps into Mercer and makes a comment about the surf trip. He looks at her blankly until she adds in Mexico. He said that no one said anything to him about surfing, but he promises to get her a piñata.

Neptune: Veronica plants a tracking device in Logan's car.

Hearst: Veronica meets Trish and enquires about Kurt. Trish says that he told his teammates about the playbook and was kicked off the football team. He told Trish he need time to think and went back to Kansas. She regretfully tells Veronica that she went crazy momentarily, and it's going to cost her the guy she loves.

Neptune: Veronica's voiceover says she'll let momentary craziness be her defense, as she removes the device from Logan's car.

Hearst dean's office: The dean finishes a phone call and looks relieved as the air conditioning blows. Weevil opens the door and asks if it's better.

Hearst library: Veronica sits at the help desk, and her voiceover says that it's time for the premiere of Piz's radio show. She fits her earphones to listen. The radio announcer says that Hearst beat Sonoma State, then the theme music for Piz's show plays.

Hearst radio: Piz is hosting his show. His guests are the heads of the Lilith House and the editors of Hearst's Lampoon. He flips a coin to see who goes first, and the boys win. The debate begins.

Hearst library: Veronica continues to listen.

Hearst radio: The chat show goes on, and Nish asks if words matter. Piz talks about dangerous speech until Fern gets a text message saying that Claire was raped. She starts shouting at the boys, saying they said they'd do it, and they did. Piz cuts to a break.

Hearst library: Veronica looks stunned until she's interrupted by a guy looking for a book. She distractedly tells him where to find it and he leaves. She looks down until Logan walks up, asking if it's the help desk, because he needs a little help. Veronica replies, suggesting that it's probably because Logan has a pathologically-suspicious girlfriend and that he hopes maybe there's a guidebook. He points out she's beyond pathological. She apologizes, with tears in her eyes, explaining she's spent a long time seeing people lying, cheating and betraying each other, and it's hard for her to trust people, but she is trying. Veronica says she thought he was in Mexico, and Logan says that bad boys usually love Mexico, but he was feeling a little reformed. He says he doesn't think Mercer surfs. He then asks if she's doing anything that weekend because there's a foreign movie festival on campus. A guy walks up and asks if it's the helpdesk. Not even looking at him, Veronica pulls out a closed sign. She says the film festival sounds nice, but they should really find the guidebook Logan was looking for. She takes his hand as she says it's on the dark, lonely top floor. They begin to kiss as they walk up the stairs.

-fickledame, chookie

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