2.20 "Look Who's Stalking"

Aired Apr 25, 2006


Cultural References

Look Who's Talking (Movies)

Episode Title: "Look Who's Stalking"

"Put me back in! Put me back in!" Bruce Willis's Baby Mikey's reaction to being born in this 1989 hit was to want to climb back into the womb. The wise-cracking baby's thoughts were heard only by the audience, leaving single mom Kirstie Alley struggling to bring up baby and juggle between George Segal, the married lover and biological father, and John Travolta, the slobbish taxi-driving babysitter. In borrowing from the title, one must wonder if the writers knew that at the end of the episode, as we were pulled out of the action by the closing credits, we'd all be shouting, "Put me back in! Put me back in!"

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"So my Grandma Reynolds was always saying when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I wish she was still alive because I'd really like to ask what she suggests for when life gives you chlamydia."

This is an American cliché advising the making of opportunities out of adversity. I'm grateful for M. Phelan's paper, "Recent Rumblings from a Dead Theory of Metaphor," for this:

"Some metaphors are certainly related to imagistic experiences general enough that most people have had them. Experiences with lemons and lemonade, for example, are common enough that a theorist may plausibly maintain that anyone who understands the metaphor, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,' is made non-inferentially to imagisticly experience life in the relevant way by the metaphor. Despite the anomalousness of such an account, one might plausibly maintain that some experiences are common enough that people can generally and non-inferentially be made to enter imagistic states related to them upon hearing certain metaphors. Propositional contents merely implied by these imagistic states in which understanding certain metaphors consists may be those by virtue of which many people agree or disagree with certain metaphors, argue using certain metaphors, or use certain metaphors in other cognitive exercises. But with other metaphors it seems far less likely that many people could be non-inferentially made to have the imagistic experiences that could imply the ideas that are explicitly disagreed with, which bear weight in the ways the cognitive exercises of which they are a part demand, or which are generally captured in paraphrase."

Got that? I'd say it's easier to make chlamydiade.

"Can't Get You Out of My Head" (Music)

"Well, last week, at karaoke, I did 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' and I dedicated it to this table of cute guys, but then I realized they weren't cute."

La, la, la, la, la, la-la, la. I just can't get it out of my head, it's a tune that infests and hangs about. You just can't get it out of your head, it's a loadstone that you could do without. Won't you go? In the annals of tunes that drive one crazy, Kylie Minogue has much to answer for in both this worldwide 2001/2002 smash hit and her debut hit "I Should Be So Lucky," which no doubt appealed to the stalker boy. Gia and Lucky are living proof that pop music rots the brain.

Who's Who bio: Kylie Minogue
The Music Man (Plays)

"Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble."
"Like Trouble, with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for—"
"Veronica!"
"I was gonna say cute."

This is a wholly objective statement: The Music Man is the best musical ever! Robert Preston as Harold Hill hits it out of the park in this tale of a con man selling dreams of boy bands to yokels in the American heartlands in the early twentieth century. Touched by love for River City's librarian, he goes straight. It sounds hokey and it is, but the music and the dialogue are a joy to behold. Amongst the unforgettable tunes are "Ya Got Trouble":

Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.

Being smart, Veronica recognizes the preeminence of The Music Man and attempts her own version on seeing Kendall. Being smarter, Keith doesn't let her.

Mission:Impossible (Movies, TV)
Tom Cruise (People)

"Cameras are on the roof, so if this guy followed you here, we should be able to spot him."
"Wow! How Mission: Impossible. I feel like at any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables."
"Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I hope he doesn't try to marry me."

The reference to the movie is straightforward enough. There is a scene in the movie remake of the popular TV series, Mission: Impossible, which Gia has obviously seen, where the hero, played by Tom Cruise, breaks into a facility by lowering himself down with a rope and pulley arrangement to avoid the various alarms that protect the object of his desire. The second reference is less straightforward, and yet more so. Before I go further, note this proviso: Tom Cruise is litigious. We are poor. These two facts have a bearing on the following. Tom Cruise fell madly in love with actress Katie Holmes, some sixteen years his junior and best known as Joey Potter on Dawson's Creek. He was not shy to proclaim his love, most notably whilst jumping up and down on a couch on Oprah Winfrey's show. He has strong views on psychiatry and antidepressants, which he loathes, and Scientology, which he advances. He has consistently denied rumors that he 1) is gay, 2) is crazy, 3) proposed marriage to Katie Holmes for the enhancement of their careers, 4) proposed marriage to Katie Holmes to disguise his true sexual orientation, 5) has not fathered a child with her. Okay, Tom? Can't think what Veronica's problem is.

Who's Who bio: Tom Cruise
Netflix (Organizations, Companies, and Products)

"And you can just look him up, right there on your computer? That's awesome."
"Actually, I'm updating my Netflix queue."

Veronica, sweetie, Gia would not recognize sarcasm if it dressed like Lincoln and sang Dixie, which someone probably does do in a movie that is available on Netflix. It is the USA's leading online DVD rental service, carrying some 65,000 titles. For a monthly fee, subscribers create a list of movies they want and when they send one back, a new one from the list is sent out by return. Basically, if it's on DVD and it's been released in the States, they've got it. 'Cept for porn. Dressing up as Lincoln and singing Dixie notwithstanding.

Spelunking (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"You have that 'I'd rather be making out with a broken bottle' look. Which if history serves, means you're about to say something awkward."
"This? This is my 'I'd rather be spelunking' look. It's like you don't know me at all."

Hmm. Veronica could be referring to the origin of the word, in which case she is saying that she would rather be exploring caves, something at which she is relatively inexperienced. Then again, she is about to ask Logan about Duncan's sexual habits, so maybe she is referring to one of the urban usages. The most polite involves searching for a condom that did not exit with the tool it once sheathed. I'm stopping now.

James Bond (Characters)
Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel (Characters)

"Please don't give us the tux speech again."
"What? You mean, how when I put on a tux, I make James Bond look like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel?"

Yet another James Bond reference, although this time it's Wallace who aspires to the mantle, and the tuxedo, of the most famous spy/agent/007 license to kill-killer in the world. The thing about Bond is that he is very smooth, very smart, and very elegant. In other words, he looks bloody fantastic in a suit, be he wearing the face of Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, or Daniel Craig. This cannot be said of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel, the dumb, ugly, sister-wiving, prolific, redneck hillbilly of The Simpsons. Cletus is a slobby slob. Now, we love Wallace and we love Percy, but there is no way on earth that his body in a tux is going to make 007 look like Cletus. Topanga, put that rock down!

Who's Who bio: James Bond
See all references about James Bond
Who's Who bio: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel
See all references about The Simpsons
New York Mets (Sports, Games and Toys)

"Well, it seems that Mets manager Willie Randolph is not happy."

One of two major league baseball teams based in New York City, the Mets have always been bridesmaids to their flashier fellow New Yorkers, the Yankees. In 1973, they won their division with the worst winning percentage ever, a record that lasted until the San Diego Padres won their division in 2005 - a nice little tie between Terrence's hospital bed reading and Keith's Christmas baubles. They've won things here and there. Why Willie is unhappy is a bit of a mystery as the 2006 Mets seem to be doing well, but what do I know? Round my way, they play cricket.

Who's Who bio: Willie Randolph
Have Gun - Will Travel (TV)

"Have tazer, will travel."

The phrase "have [whatever], will travel" is so embedded in popular culture that many don't realize that it originated with a TV western of the 1950s and 1960s. Have Gun - Will Travel starred Richard Boone as Paladin, a professional gunfighter and knight without armor. He was well-read and well-educated, able to speak any language necessary to the plot, and when he was "working," dressed in black. Refined of taste and lethal with his derringer, Paladin fought for any who responded to his calling card. There's word that there's to be a movie version starring...who? Eminem? *Sigh*

"Alone Again (Naturally)" (Music)

"Alone again?"
"Naturally."

Irishman Gilbert O'Sullivan was an odd fish. Living in England, he dressed in short trousers, suspenders, and turned up collars. This ensemble was topped with a large flat cap. He looked like he stepped out of one of Lowry's "Matchstick Men" paintings. Musically, he was sort of a poor man's Elton John, and as such, he struggled to achieve any real credibility in the music industry. He did, however, enjoy some big hits in both the UK and in the US, and "Alone Again (Naturally)" was his biggest. It's lyrically poignant and suited to Logan's drunken mood as he approaches the unattended Veronica:
To think that only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do, the role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt, all about God and His mercy
For if He really does exist why did He desert me
In my hour of need? I truly am indeed
Alone again (naturally).


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