Cultural References

The Bible (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Have you been playing nice with the other children?"
"You know, Dad, I'm old school. An eye for an eye."
"I think that's actually Old Testament."

Whatever one's religious beliefs, one does have to wonder why the Old Testament is still around. Wasn't the New Testament supposed to, you know, replace it? Didn't Christ teach us, for example, to turn the other cheek? So what place does Exodus 21:23-27 have in the Christian mindset: "If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured." Veronica admits to keeping her cheeks taut and firm as she adheres to the OT principles of retributive justice.

1.03 "Meet John Smith"

"Student council giveth, student council taketh away."

"The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away" is the oft-quoted Biblical passage on Job's suffering as God and Satan play double-dare. As is oft the case, the words are misquoted, as the actual King James version is "the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away." Duncan both misquotes and adapts to complacently comment on Wanda Varner's plan to deprive the 09ers of their cherished Pirate Points. That's a handy skill for any budding politician.

1.06 "Return of the Kane"

"How do you people not make yourselves sick? I mean, it's like you walk on water in this school. For what? It's nothing that you do. I mean, all that matters is who your parents are and the zip code your mom shot you out in."

Walking on water is one of the miracles attributed to Jesus in the Gospels, when he freaked out his followers by walking across a lake to them while they were riding out a huge storm in a fishing boat. Weevil thinks Logan has Messianic tendencies, but as we all know, he's anything but the next Messiah. Apparently, Weevil's Catholic education wasn't as thorough as it should have been.

1.07 "The Girl Next Door"

"They say 'the truth will set you free.' And I'm looking for the truth in a maximum security prison. Don't worry. The irony isn't lost with me."

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32. Veronica's VO paraphrases the Bible on her way to Death Row to vist Abel Koontz. She's seeking the truth about Lilly Kane's murder from the man who confessed to killing her, a confession neither Veronica nor her father believes. The Bible asserts that God forgives those who confess their sins. But if a man confesses to a sin he didn't commit? Then he's just a liar. The jury's still out on Abel.

1.08 "Like a Virgin"

"Judge not lest ye be judged"

"Judge not lest ye be judged" is an oft-referenced passage from the Bible. (Curious readers might like to know it's Matthew 7:1.) Our returning OPJ accuses no-longer-his Veronica of judging his behavior. Ergo, he can judge her behavior, too. Maybe he should have a chat with the wise TV reverend about anger and letting things go, no matter how much someone annoys you.

3.12 "There's Got To Be A Morning After Pill"
See all references about The Bible

Related items

Cain and Abel (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"…has apprehended Abel Koontz, a disgruntled former Kane Software employee."

In the Bible, Cain killed his brother Abel because he was jealous of him. The man arrested for murdering Lilly Kane is named Abel Koontz. Coincidence? Hubris? Just our desperate attempt to avoid the conclusion that Rob Thomas is a fan of Jeffrey Archer?

1.01 "Pilot"
Who's Who bio: Abel Koontz
The Passion of the Christ (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"My parents come home in five days. If the car's not back before my dad is, I'm going to be singing hymns and doing rosary beads before you can say 'The Passion.'"

The Passion refers to the events leading up to Christ's crucifixion. You know, the last supper, the betrayal, the trial, the temptation, the ninja attacks. Oh, what, you don't think there were ninjas back then? There were. And they hated Christ. Like, totally. Anyway, the events of the Passion were made into a movie called (imaginatively) The Passion of the Christ, which was directed by Mel "I didn't mean Jews, I meant, uh, Hughs! I hate all Hughs!" Gibson. We don't think Troy's father is as crazy as Mel's is, but still: harsh, man.

1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody"
Hell (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"All right. Look, I know what you're talking about, but I didn't take the parrot, I swear to God."
"Someone's going to H-E-double hockey sticks."

"H-E-double hockey sticks" is the nonprofane way of describing HELL (with all caps). It's the final destination for high school students who steal school mascots then lie about it. Weevil, the good Catholic boy that he is, informs Wilson of his fate.

1.16 "Betty and Veronica"
A leopard can't change its spots (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"I am what I am, Vee. Leopard, spots, you know what they say."

Please understand, it was a different age, a less sensitive time. Nobody in this day and age would allege that Ethiopians are evil. And the Bible was written by men, imperfect transcribers of the word of God. How else to explain Jeremiah 13:23: "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil"? Did Ethiopians run over Jeremiah's dog or something? Nevertheless, the adage holds true for leopards and, according to Weevil, to PCH bikers — their innate nature is unchangeable.

1.19 "Hot Dogs"
Noah's Ark (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Two by two. Apparently you can only enter the carnival as if it were the Ark."

In the Bible, God commanded Noah to build an ark and fill it with male-female pairs of every animal on the planet, saving them from an impending 40-day rainstorm. Veronica's voiceover likens the couple-dom of the winter carnival to Noah's matchmaking venture.

2.13 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough"
Moses and the Tablets of Stone (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Well, if Veronica saw them. I mean, that's like Moses bringing tablets down the mountain to me."

Lambykins is being sarcastic, but really, he shouldn't be. Has he not yet learned that Veronica is more often right than she is wrong and that maybe he should treat her observations more seriously? Perhaps not quite as seriously as the first version of the Ten Commandments, written by God on two Tablets of Stone and carried down Mount Sinai by Moses. Sadly, Moses smashed them to pieces when he got to the bottom and saw the flaws of his people. People just like Lamb.

2.15 "The Quick and the Wed"
Who's Who bio: Moses
The Ten Commandments (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Logan may be a little fuzzy on the Commandments."

Veronica doesn't go on to specify which Commandment of the Ten God handed down to Moses on a stone tablet that Logan is fuzzy on, although "You shall not commit adultery" is the one most on point, as she's telling Keith about Logan and Kendall's "relationship." However, the moral imperatives include honoring your father, not taking the Lord's name in vain, not bearing false witness, and not coveting a neighbor's ass...

2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks"
A leopard can't change its spots (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"And I'm being called in to see the dean of Hearst College."
"Leopard didn't change her spots, I see."

Like a human fingerprint, a leopard's spots are distinct and unchanging, and the saying usually refers to an undesirable trait that shines through, no matter how the circumstances change. Hmm, people being stubborn? Personality traits staying consistently strong? Bull-headed people taking a long time to change? Continuity?! Nah, doesn't sound like this show at all.

3.03 "Wichita Linebacker"
Sodom and Gomorrah (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Well, well, what do we have here? An illegal gambling establishment. Underage drinking. Public displays of affection. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in here."

The epitome of debauchery and sinful living, Sodom and Gomorrah were two Biblical cities that were condemned to be destroyed by fire and brimstone. The only good resident of the cities, Lot, escaped with his family, but his wife was turned to a pillar of salt when she looked back while they were fleeing. The Benetian isn't quite that depraved, but if the robbers had turned into pillars of salt, they would have been a lot easier to catch. And they would have tasted good on fries.

3.05 "President Evil"
Who's Who bio: !none
Old Testament (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"How 'bout his rhetorical style? Business-like and bland?"
"More Old Testament sarcastic."

A sense of humor running throughout the Bible — it exists, people. How else can you explain an overweight king who was killed by a dagger which was then enfolded in mounds of flesh and had to be dug out of his body? While we never heard Dean O'Dell making references to King Eglon, maybe he sprinkled his conversations with "thee," "thou," "verily," and "thus," making his sarcasm truly Old.

3.10 "Show Me the Monkey"
Who's Who bio:
Mark of the Beast (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"You do your hair like that to cover up the three 6's on your scalp, right?"

The Mark of the Beast is identified in the New Testament's book of Revelation as the number 666. It's an easy way of identifying the Antichrist, as these numbers appear somewhere on his person, usually on the head. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of interpretations of this number. Many of them use the argument that the number 7 is spiritual perfection; 777 is about as perfect as you can get, so 666 falls short of perfection, much as the evil one will always fall short of Jesus Christ. Of the numerous people this Antichrist could be, suggestions are Nero, President Reagan, and, now, Dick Casablancas. I guess Dick's floppy hair could cover the mark on his head. After all, the letters in his name (Richard Casablancas) number 18, which, when broken down, is 6x3, or 6+6+6. Coincidence? Maybe. The only way we'll find out is if Dick gets one of those low-maintenance haircuts like Chip.

3.12 "There's Got To Be A Morning After Pill"
Who's Who bio: !none
Judas Iscariot (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"We came here for me, remember?"
"Yeah, that was before I saw her."
"No, you don't, no. Judas!"

History will forever shame Judas Iscariot as the man who betrayed Jesus Christ with a kiss, sending the Messiah to a certain and very painful death on a cross. Upon realizing his transgression, Judas, one of the original Twelve Apostles, reportedly committed suicide. Wallace is possibly attracted to the same girl that Piz has just noticed. Yeah, totally close to the same thing. Nice analogy, STOSH.

3.16 "Un-American Graffiti"
Who's Who bio: Judas

Cultural References