Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas

"Shred it. Shred everything. Shred everything."

The [bleep]ing head of the Casablancas family, he had to flee the country after his real estate fraud was accidentally exposed due to his trophy wife's shenanigans his vengeful younger son set him up to be exposed for his real estate fraud because he never found a [bleep]ing second in his oh so [bleep]ing busy schedule to actually notice him for anything other than to compete with his older son as to who could make Cassidy cry first, or any problems he might have. The [bleep]ing [bleep] Dick, Sr. relocated to the Cayman Islands, where he drank mai tais on some beach for a while.

Aside from habitually marrying women of dubious character, and letting his kids hang out with ex-convicts who teach them how to blow things up, this [bleep] the elder Dick seems to have one very grave character flaw — he is a [bleep] singularly unobservant parent. Never mind that his last trophy wife was a seasoned con-woman with a prison sentence whose taste in men was not only doubtful but downright deadly, his older son is a sleaze, who tries to drug his unwilling dates and successfully drives his brother to rape unconscious girls. We're sure that'll get him far in college — he is already the born fratboy. Far worse though, the younger son, neglected, harassed and forgotten, is first a victim, and then a perpetrator of sexual violence, and ends up becoming a murderer when others threaten to expose his secret shame. Too bad he couldn't get his [bleep]ing father to help him through a few of his hardships, or at least teach him something like decent morals — a lot of people in Neptune would have been happier for it. Well done there, Dick! Thanks for nothing, you [bleep]ing [bleep].

So, you get we don't like Big Dick, right? So what the [bleep]ing [bleep] [beepity-beep] [bleep] are we supposed to think of his [bleep]ing "redemption," what with his returning to the USA to face his crimes, negotiating a one-year jail sentence and a summer with Dick?

You got it.


Bio as of 3.18 "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer"
All bios: 3.18 3.01 2.22 2.19 2.03 2.02

David Starzyk plays Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas.

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