Fern Delgado

"You girls get all tarted up, go right into the belly of the beast, and drink until you can't say no. You're lucky you didn't end up with a shaved head. You should know better. The Greeks are evil."

With a name like Fern, you expect a pleasant, peace-loving hippie. Like the folks in the Mooncalf Collective, for instance. But this Fern is far from pleasant and peace-loving. Just look at those tattoos! Those nose rings! That knee to Dick's nuts! Putting an egg up Chip's bum! Gloria Steinem, eat your heart out!

Fern really isn't someone you want to cozy up to, especially if you have any association at all with fraternities or sororities, or even humor magazines. She's pretty convinced they're responsible for all the rapes on campus, the War in Iraq, global warming, and every single Uwe Boll film. Of course, we just have her militant hatred to go on here. She may be part of Take Back the Night, but this not-so-delicate Fern is more apt to rip the Night out of your arms or possibly shove it where the sun don't shine.

-alliterator, Polter-Cow
Bio as of 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's"
All bios: 3.09 3.08 3.04 3.03 3.02 3.01

Cher Ferreyra plays Fern Delgado.


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